[why does chuuya look forward to things like that... but it's ridiculous how they're so willing to share kisses now that they can.
except.
baren recognizes that line. he's read through chuuya's poetry enough times just when he had downtime that he knows most of his work well. sure there's enough love poetry in there that baren came to the understanding that chuuya was a romantic.
Even as Chuuya places his hand over Baren's heart, he's just going to roll them over and seize Chuuya's wrist for himself to pin back against the bed???]
New rule: dating doesn't mean I won't fucking kick your ass.
[chuuya doesn't look too concerned at that. he just hums to himself again, focuses a moment, and-
enjoy floating up, baren. he's maintaining that contact between them as an anchor, keeping baren from just floating to the ceiling with that hand on his wrist, but the rest of him is now hovering a good foot or two over chuuya. below him, chuuya gives him a lazy grin, not even bothering to move.]
But Baren's eyes flick to the thought - and even though the moment is light-hearted, he pauses. It's heavier, even if it's not expressed out loud. He appears to be thoughtful for a moment and in a beautiful world, the things that go through his mind wouldn't be obviously broadcasted.
[his grin's definitely still there, though it softens a bit at that.]
If I was too much for you then you wouldn't be here, though, would you.
[Maybe you're the only one who can handle me.
because of course his problem with 'nice guys', the ones everyone says would be better for him, are that they're not as fun. not as adventurous, not as willing to just do stupid shit because why the fuck not if it makes you feel alive?
baren's the only one who's ever satisfied everything he wants, much as he's a pain in the ass to go along with it. he's the only one who'll do all that but also take care of him and be domestic when he needs it.]
[There's another small pause at that and Baren moves so he's hovering over Chuuya, as if distance will make holding a real conversation any easier. One hand moved to brush aside Chuuya's hair as Baren hums thoughtfully.
When he speaks, it's quieter again. More uncertain. As if the truth is still something he's getting used to saying.]
... I'm wondering even if you were, I might still be here.
I always kind of figured it'd be the other way around, you know? That you'd be too much for me.
[he leans up for another brief kiss, there. it's not that he doesn't believe all this, it's just-- well. a part of him still thinks he might wake up and he'd better kiss baren just as much as he wants to before that happens.
it's just nice, being able to do it without really thinking about whether it'll be okay.]
... you know me better than anyone else in this city, Baren. If I'm too much for you then nobody else has a chance.
[given everything, chuuya can have all the kisses he wants.
it's almost doting how baren tilts his head to the side so even after he pulls away, he can trace a series of kisses along chuuya's jawline. soft and reassuring where baren doesn't quite have the ability to say what he feels
They won't get the chance anymore.
hopefully even when the thought bubbles are gone, chuuya will remember these moments to translate for baren in the future.]
Nothing wrong with my friends. I just- don't always tell them everything.
[baren, though-- baren gets all the details.
chuuya will definitely remember those thought bubbles, though; how is he ever going to forget things like that? they're all reassurances he needs after a few years of avoiding his feelings to keep from scaring baren off.
something else comes to mind at the thought of friends, though, and chuuya can't help but laugh-]
I can already just see him going 'whyyy though'...
[chuuya hums under his breath, considering something else for a moment.]
Kiyomitsu said he'd read over some of my poetry for me, d'you think he'll change his mind if he figures out some of it might be about you? Does that make it weird?
But given that Chuuya has now named both of his swords - specifically as his swords - there's some part of Baren that twists uncomfortably. Not out of secrets, but more out of...
Irritation?
He hooks a finger around the collar and gives it a pull again, even as his gaze narrows.]
Mm?
And just when did you start making all these connections, pet?
[Why is he talking about Baren? How does he know Yacchan is Yamato in the first place? How did he find out that they're swords?
It's not necessarily a problem, but he can't help but find it a little unexpected - and he doesn't really like surprises.]
[chuuya blinks up at him there, a little thrown off. yamato offered it up so easily, he didn't really think it was a big deal for him to know...
he huffs, giving his head a slight shake.]
I don't know, like, the other week? Yamato knows Anya, we started talking after the fight last month, then I ended up getting a text accidentally sent to him. He gave me advice about some shit, mentioned you'd said it in the first place, and then he mentioned being your sword. Both of them being your swords. I already knew Yamato was a sword and that those two were dating, I just didn't know that was what you meant about him being yours 'til recently.
[a brief little pause, and-]
Just seemed like the sort of thing that was between you, so- I didn't bring it up.
What the fuck did I say that he'd bother remembering....
[what is Yamato and Baren's relationship in the first place.....
but regardless, he seems appeased by that. there's another tug on the collar just to bring chuuya's head up enough to give him kiss, soft and sweet, before baren lets go again]
.... hmph, it's about time that they figured it out though.
[Guess they wouldn't bother mentioning that to me... aka guess who didn't know they were dating officially until just now.
but then Baren shakes his head, leaving a second kiss on Chuuya's cheek]
... yeah. S'between us. Me and them. But you can know about it now, if you want.
[Little offers of information, if only because he knows that Chuuya won't run off with them anymore.]
[They're kind of dense and impossible... but they also have one of those relationships where Baren thinks they've been married since the start.]
It's sort of like being with your soulmate since the very beginning of everything - if it's something you already know so well, it probably doesn't register as an actual important change.
[if he's being honest.... and admitting that maybe soulmates is a thing he might buy into]
Surprised that Yacchan can give any advice, though... What, you asked him about kendo?
[a little grin comes with that-- that's cute, baren-- but... chuuya shifts a little uncomfortably at that last question.
he promised not to lie though, so-]
We were talking about relationship shit, and- he said someone told him that relationships closer to you are hard to see clearly. I asked him who said that and he told me it was you.
And he remembers context, sure, but he also remembers telling Chuuya -
.... well, relationships like that are supposed to be hard to break, right? Or something.
Funny - I don't think he even knew that I was thinking about you.
It's what gets Baren to pause. He claims a kiss to fill up some of the space before he speaks.]
... I still don't know if I believe in love.
[Even if you're getting me to consider it. Even though I don't think that sort of thing is meant for someone like me.
Because love is something that's not guaranteed, anymore. Nothing's guaranteed, as far as Baren's concerned. Not the love of your family, so why would it make any sense for someone not related to you by blood to love you? To love him, especially?
But he shakes his head because he doesn't want to dwell, but still wants to explain.]
... but I believe in time. And persistence. And - if things go right for once - that some people belong together.
[And can be happy together.
Is it okay if I want to belong with you, if you won't get tired of me?]
[he reads those thoughts, but before he says anything-- chuuya pulls baren in for another warm kiss, not pulling too far back when he finally breaks it off. he just lets their foreheads rest together, fingers carding through baren's hair.]
...I want to make things go right for you, alright? I- shit, I already know you make me happy, I just... want to make sure you're happy too.
[If I'm not tired of you now, I never will be, idiot.
another brief kiss, and he finishes:]
I'll tell you I love you every day if I have to. And you know I promised not to lie.
[every time he says it, it'll still be the truth.]
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[and chuuya snorts out a brief laugh at that, because god, he can just imagine yamato's reaction, for one.
he kind of looks forward to things like that, though. another kiss, and-]
But- [a little hum under his breath, and he continues in japanese.] If you are a mistake, then I want to be wrong until I die.
[it's a line from his own poetry; baren will probably recognize it.]
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except.
baren recognizes that line. he's read through chuuya's poetry enough times just when he had downtime that he knows most of his work well. sure there's enough love poetry in there that baren came to the understanding that chuuya was a romantic.
but.....
somehow it never dawned on him
that - ]
That shit's about me?!
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blinks a couple times
tilts his head, and... bursts into soft, breathless laughter as he tugs baren closer, voice muffled against his chest.]
Oh my fucking god, you're such an idiot-
[an idiot he loves. god. how did it come to this, huh?]
I told you I didn't stop writing shit for you. About you, I guess.
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Don't - fucking...!! Stupid!
[TSUNTSUN INTENSIFIES.
admittedly Baren's yelling, but with Chuuya as close as he is, he can probably feel Baren's fast heartbeat battering against his ribcage]
Moron! I never asked for that...!
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[he's still laughing, though... and setting a hand over baren's heart with a little grin.]
D'you really mind that much?
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Of course I do!!
[LIAR.
Even as Chuuya places his hand over Baren's heart, he's just going to roll them over and seize Chuuya's wrist for himself to pin back against the bed???]
New rule: dating doesn't mean I won't fucking kick your ass.
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[chuuya doesn't look too concerned at that. he just hums to himself again, focuses a moment, and-
enjoy floating up, baren. he's maintaining that contact between them as an anchor, keeping baren from just floating to the ceiling with that hand on his wrist, but the rest of him is now hovering a good foot or two over chuuya. below him, chuuya gives him a lazy grin, not even bothering to move.]
I guess, if you can manage it.
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I take back everything. Die alone.
[I hate that I know I'm lying.]
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[Only if you've gone first.
it's the only way he thinks he wants to end up alone, right now, but- he's still unsure about saying it aloud. feels like it might be a bit too much.
he lets baren down, though, restoring his usual gravity by degrees so he doesn't just fall right down on top of chuuya.]
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[Why not just hurt them both!!
But Baren's eyes flick to the thought - and even though the moment is light-hearted, he pauses. It's heavier, even if it's not expressed out loud. He appears to be thoughtful for a moment and in a beautiful world, the things that go through his mind wouldn't be obviously broadcasted.
That's not the world they live in.
... is it really okay for me to have you?]
... anyone ever tell you you're too much, Chuu.
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[his grin's definitely still there, though it softens a bit at that.]
If I was too much for you then you wouldn't be here, though, would you.
[Maybe you're the only one who can handle me.
because of course his problem with 'nice guys', the ones everyone says would be better for him, are that they're not as fun. not as adventurous, not as willing to just do stupid shit because why the fuck not if it makes you feel alive?
baren's the only one who's ever satisfied everything he wants, much as he's a pain in the ass to go along with it. he's the only one who'll do all that but also take care of him and be domestic when he needs it.]
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When he speaks, it's quieter again. More uncertain. As if the truth is still something he's getting used to saying.]
... I'm wondering even if you were, I might still be here.
[which one of them was weak again?]
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[he leans up for another brief kiss, there. it's not that he doesn't believe all this, it's just-- well. a part of him still thinks he might wake up and he'd better kiss baren just as much as he wants to before that happens.
it's just nice, being able to do it without really thinking about whether it'll be okay.]
... you know me better than anyone else in this city, Baren. If I'm too much for you then nobody else has a chance.
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it's almost doting how baren tilts his head to the side so even after he pulls away, he can trace a series of kisses along chuuya's jawline. soft and reassuring where baren doesn't quite have the ability to say what he feels
They won't get the chance anymore.
hopefully even when the thought bubbles are gone, chuuya will remember these moments to translate for baren in the future.]
Maybe you need better friends.
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[baren, though-- baren gets all the details.
chuuya will definitely remember those thought bubbles, though; how is he ever going to forget things like that? they're all reassurances he needs after a few years of avoiding his feelings to keep from scaring baren off.
something else comes to mind at the thought of friends, though, and chuuya can't help but laugh-]
What are your swords gonna think, huh.
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Yacchan is going to be shocked that anyone would want to date me in the first place. He and I agree on some things, after all.
[HE KNOWS YAMS BETTER THAN EXPECTED, HE THINKS]
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[chuuya hums under his breath, considering something else for a moment.]
Kiyomitsu said he'd read over some of my poetry for me, d'you think he'll change his mind if he figures out some of it might be about you? Does that make it weird?
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But given that Chuuya has now named both of his swords - specifically as his swords - there's some part of Baren that twists uncomfortably. Not out of secrets, but more out of...
Irritation?
He hooks a finger around the collar and gives it a pull again, even as his gaze narrows.]
Mm?
And just when did you start making all these connections, pet?
[Why is he talking about Baren? How does he know Yacchan is Yamato in the first place? How did he find out that they're swords?
It's not necessarily a problem, but he can't help but find it a little unexpected - and he doesn't really like surprises.]
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[chuuya blinks up at him there, a little thrown off. yamato offered it up so easily, he didn't really think it was a big deal for him to know...
he huffs, giving his head a slight shake.]
I don't know, like, the other week? Yamato knows Anya, we started talking after the fight last month, then I ended up getting a text accidentally sent to him. He gave me advice about some shit, mentioned you'd said it in the first place, and then he mentioned being your sword. Both of them being your swords. I already knew Yamato was a sword and that those two were dating, I just didn't know that was what you meant about him being yours 'til recently.
[a brief little pause, and-]
Just seemed like the sort of thing that was between you, so- I didn't bring it up.
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What the fuck did I say that he'd bother remembering....
[what is Yamato and Baren's relationship in the first place.....
but regardless, he seems appeased by that. there's another tug on the collar just to bring chuuya's head up enough to give him kiss, soft and sweet, before baren lets go again]
.... hmph, it's about time that they figured it out though.
[Guess they wouldn't bother mentioning that to me... aka guess who didn't know they were dating officially until just now.
but then Baren shakes his head, leaving a second kiss on Chuuya's cheek]
... yeah. S'between us. Me and them. But you can know about it now, if you want.
[Little offers of information, if only because he knows that Chuuya won't run off with them anymore.]
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[and okay maybe there's a little satisfaction there at actually knowing something baren didn't, but.]
-thanks, though. I'm not gonna bring it up to anyone else, promise.
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[They're kind of dense and impossible... but they also have one of those relationships where Baren thinks they've been married since the start.]
It's sort of like being with your soulmate since the very beginning of everything - if it's something you already know so well, it probably doesn't register as an actual important change.
[if he's being honest.... and admitting that maybe soulmates is a thing he might buy into]
Surprised that Yacchan can give any advice, though... What, you asked him about kendo?
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[a little grin comes with that-- that's cute, baren-- but... chuuya shifts a little uncomfortably at that last question.
he promised not to lie though, so-]
We were talking about relationship shit, and- he said someone told him that relationships closer to you are hard to see clearly. I asked him who said that and he told me it was you.
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And he remembers context, sure, but he also remembers telling Chuuya -
.... well, relationships like that are supposed to be hard to break, right? Or something.
Funny - I don't think he even knew that I was thinking about you.
It's what gets Baren to pause. He claims a kiss to fill up some of the space before he speaks.]
... I still don't know if I believe in love.
[Even if you're getting me to consider it. Even though I don't think that sort of thing is meant for someone like me.
Because love is something that's not guaranteed, anymore. Nothing's guaranteed, as far as Baren's concerned. Not the love of your family, so why would it make any sense for someone not related to you by blood to love you? To love him, especially?
But he shakes his head because he doesn't want to dwell, but still wants to explain.]
... but I believe in time. And persistence. And - if things go right for once - that some people belong together.
[And can be happy together.
Is it okay if I want to belong with you, if you won't get tired of me?]
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...I want to make things go right for you, alright? I- shit, I already know you make me happy, I just... want to make sure you're happy too.
[If I'm not tired of you now, I never will be, idiot.
another brief kiss, and he finishes:]
I'll tell you I love you every day if I have to. And you know I promised not to lie.
[every time he says it, it'll still be the truth.]
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