ic inbox.

[crudest]

Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[crudest]

excuse me
i received my doctorate in fluffy cuteness factors

[sharplydressed]

you wouldn't know how to identify something max fluffy cute if it bit you in the ass

[crudest]

if it was max fluffy cute it wouldn't bite me in the ass in the first place

[sharplydressed]

wow
fangs and claws are part of the cute appeal!
why do you think cats are so perfect??

[crudest]

what
no that just doesn't make sense
kiyo if you go blind it doesn't bode well for your career

[sharplydressed]

i will literally fight you
especially if you're going after cats and how cute they are
but also just like
in general
because it 100% makes sense

[crudest]

if you put teeth on a fuzzy monster chair
that doesn't make it cute
or any less of an affront to god

[sharplydressed]

ok but have you tried doing that yet

[It's hard to tell if he's joking or not...]

[crudest]

do you own a fuzzy monster chair

[sharplydressed]

no
but i know exactly where to get one

[crudest]

k
pick you up in 10?

[this is a mistake]

[sharplydressed]

[Literally everything they do is a mistake.]

see you then ♥

[crudest]

[i'm continuing this trainwreck thread because why wouldn't i

Baren's picking up Kashuu in his usual outlandish flashy sports car because of course he is. Tanuki's hanging out in the passenger's seat so Kashuu's gonna have a pal once he slides in.]

You'll have to enlighten me where we can actually get one of these chairs.

[sharplydressed]

[i hate this

Kashuu doesn't, though. Neither the monster chair or having a cute tanuki to hold while they're driving around bothers him, even though AT LEAST ONE OF THEM SHOULD.]

You know that tiny vintage shop over at the faaar corner of Tisse? If you go through the back, they have a furniture section, too.

[crudest]

Were you giving in to your hipster tendencies?

[vintage shop.....but hOLD ON because baren's a fast (but skilled) driver and he's revving it up for them to speed on over to that shop]

[sharplydressed]

What's that supposed to mean, huh? I just got curious.

[Fortunately, he's used to Baren's driving and doesn't even bat a lash... He's cozy here with tanuki! And totally willing to assume they just won't get arrested!]

[crudest]

It means I'm excited for your next line of clothes.

[Vintage fuzzy pink monster teeth chic.]

[sharplydressed]

I don't know what you're talking about. My next line is super sleek and classic.

[NO FUZZY MONSTERS. Probably.]

[crudest]

So vampires then.

[And he'll open his mouth wide then, pointing at his own canines.

Your fangs, Kiyo!!!]

[sharplydressed]

[DON'T TALK TO HIM ABOUT HIS FANGS he's still self-conscious!!]

I will literally bite you.

[crudest]

[HIS PUNCH-INDUCED FANGS]

Ew?

Leave that for Yacchan.

[whY]

[sharplydressed]

[THAT WAS A CRISIS MOMENT.

Kind of like now?! He just reaches over wordlessly and punches Baren's shoulder.]

Do not.

[Don't call him out like this, on this, the day of his daughter's wedding.]

[crudest]

[don't punch him when he's driving

but he's also laughing???? terrible]

Okay, okay, but just 'cause I don't wanna find out anything I'd rather not know.

[sharplydressed]

[BAREN IS THE ACTUAL WORST AND DESERVES EVERY DRIVING PUNCH HE GETS.]

As if I'd share anything like that in the first place! Geez! I'm not you, okay?

[This rude shady shit.]

[crudest]

Hey, hey, you should send Nika a fruit basket. He's endured more retellings of my sexcapades than you have.

[whY IS THIS CONVERSATION STILL GOING]