ic inbox.

[crudest]

Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[sharplydressed]

[DON'T TALK TO HIM ABOUT HIS FANGS he's still self-conscious!!]

I will literally bite you.

[crudest]

[HIS PUNCH-INDUCED FANGS]

Ew?

Leave that for Yacchan.

[whY]

[sharplydressed]

[THAT WAS A CRISIS MOMENT.

Kind of like now?! He just reaches over wordlessly and punches Baren's shoulder.]

Do not.

[Don't call him out like this, on this, the day of his daughter's wedding.]

[crudest]

[don't punch him when he's driving

but he's also laughing???? terrible]

Okay, okay, but just 'cause I don't wanna find out anything I'd rather not know.

[sharplydressed]

[BAREN IS THE ACTUAL WORST AND DESERVES EVERY DRIVING PUNCH HE GETS.]

As if I'd share anything like that in the first place! Geez! I'm not you, okay?

[This rude shady shit.]

[crudest]

Hey, hey, you should send Nika a fruit basket. He's endured more retellings of my sexcapades than you have.

[whY IS THIS CONVERSATION STILL GOING]

[sharplydressed]

Okay but he's probably also literally asked for it, so he's not getting any fruit baskets from me.

[He gripes and complains and yet he does nothing to fix the things he whines about.]

[crudest]

You could stand to be a little more curious, Kiyo....

[nO STOP

but look they're at the vintage place now

that's fine. time to get out of the car and look for some fuzzy chairs]

[sharplydressed]

This is definitely a "curiosity killed the cat" kinda situation. Nooo thank you.

[BUT HELL YEAH FUZZY CHAIR TIME.

This store is so hipster it burns.]

Mm, let me think... They were back here?

[Why is it a question.]

[crudest]

[hold up]

They?

[plural?????]

[sharplydressed]

Well, duh. What if you want a set?

[No... No sets. No fuzzy monster furniture sets.]

[crudest]

You and Yacchan can have matching ones.

[fuzzy monster furniture set for fuzzy monster swords.]

[sharplydressed]

What if we did get matching ones, huh? You'd have to see 'em every time you came over.

[Just watch as they slowly uglify their whole apartment.]

[crudest]

[not even missing a beat:]

Do it.

[were you expecting a different answer]

[sharplydressed]

I will! ...Or I would, but I'm saving up for something better for Yasu.

[HUFFS AND FLIPS HIS HAIR OVER HIS SHOULDER.

He's this kind of stupid sappy boyfriend help him.]

[crudest]

[ . . . ]

Fucking gross...

[say he who bought 100 dozen roses for his boyfriend]

[sharplydressed]

[WHEN IS BAREN NOT EXTRA IN ANYTHING HE DOES. In fact--]

Don't tell me you wouldn't do something even more extra.

[crudest]

Not if I had a choice in it.

[HE'S NOT A ROMANTIC AT ALL BUT - ]

Life is hard when you're dating a fucking romantic. I almost feel for Yacchan. Almost.

[sharplydressed]

Wh— Hey! I'm not a romantic!

[OR AT THE VERY LEAST, NOT AS BAD AS CHUUYA... Probably. Like sure, he'd totally eat up someone delivering him 100 roses, but he can do without long beach walks and sunset kisses. Surely that counts for something.]

Don't even think about kinda feeling bad for that guy, anyway. If you feel bad for either of us, it should definitely be me.

[crudest]

[something.... sure.....]

Mm, well... yeah he's still Yacchan.

[said with a remarkable amount of disdain for the guy who's claimed yamato as a sword

their relationship sure is a thing

anyway for the sake of actually progressing this forward we'll say that they found?? the small army of fuzzy monster chairs???]

So how many are you taking home? Three?