You're in too much of a rush about something you know nothing about.
[ - which he almost likes? But there's also the need to be difficult and stubborn, as always. He shakes his head even as he tries to get his head on straight.]
You never would've called me "sir", to start. I'm pretty sure you'd yell at yourself for doing it?
You say annoying things, I have a right to have a reaction.
[an extra, peacock-level type of reaction, but a reaction.
. . . . but honestly it's not like Sakichi's wrong.]
... It might've been something like that. I wouldn't call us friendly, but—
[ . . . he wouldn't call them enemies either. Not strangers, either. Baren said he'd leave Sakichi behind without a doubt. They must not have been that close. But then he later decided to trust him. He glances over, wondering if he could trust him again.
[ Complicated. Okay. Sakichi will settle with that for now. Baren has allegedly been searching for him for months, yet can't seem to speak directly now that Sakichi is here. Complicated is right.
Sakichi doesn't bat an eyelash at being called annoying... ]
[Automatically - because he still won't open his door to Sakichi. Okuni wouldn't get it. That might sting more.]
What do you mean - as people? You want me to tell you who you used to be? Even before you remember anything else? You don't even recognize me, you know?
You were searching for me for months. I don't believe a man would dedicate himself so readily to a potentially hopeless cause with the intent to deceive.
[ Sakichi agreed to meet Baren instantly because of this snap judgment... ]
If you don't want to talk about the past, then tell me about the present. Who are you now? Chuuya was light on details.
It's probably clear from the way that Baren's face drops so immediately that he doesn't think to put a poker face on. Well, that cat sure did get out of the bag immediately. fuck. still, there's the swirling wonder. the idle temptation.
Sakichi would believe anything then. He's too straightforward and honest not to, expecting the same from everyone else. Baren could tell him anything. They were good friends. Trusted confidants. Sakichi would follow Baren wherever he went, listen to his every word. It would be an easy way to keep tabs on him, keep him close enough that Baren wouldn't have to worry about other harm befalling him.
.... it'd be a lie.
It's not like he doesn't lie all the time though.
..... For some reason the words never make it out of his mouth, and instead Sakichi asks a different question.]
Now...?
Baren. [ . . . . holy fuck he's never talked about himself before. for once it's not stubbornness that stays his hand, but rather the simple fact that he's never had to introduce himself before. never wanted to.] What do you want to know?
And here Sakichi thought he was lobbing Baren some easy pitches. Irritation furrows his brow even further. ]
Don't ask pointless questions. There is nothing I do because I "have to". If I didn't want to know more about you, I wouldn't be asking. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be walking beside you with my own two feet.
But you're doing it because you knew that I was looking for you, and because you're going off of the assumption that we're from the same world. That something about our souls know each other from a different time - right?
[A shake of his head and there's a flash of irritation, even if he can't say what it's for exactly:] You're not wrong, but you're also taking my word for it.
My question isn't pointless. You don't need to get to know the me of now if all you're looking for are answers to the past.
[ - but it's not like Baren is giving him those answers either. Another shake of his head, this time even more openly irritated.]
Look, you're here for information? Anything? Then trade. I don't like interrogations.
[ Sakichi is silent, intently thoughtful for moments after Baren is done speaking. There is some truth to what Baren says, but Sakichi does not focus on the past except to use it as a tool to understand the future. The Baren of the present is neither -- an enigma Sakichi is still trying to place, and an individual besides. Sakichi will decide for himself whether or not getting to know Baren as a person is fruitless.
But arguing the point will not be productive, so he decides to let it lie. ]
Very well. An answer for an answer. What do you want to know?
[ . . . yeah, that makes sense. Baren's only been in the city for three years, and they never would've crossed paths otherwise. So his answers are quick as he now finds himself able to get answers for his own curiosities.]
Three years in Recollé, I worked as a model and took a break a few months ago. I'm back at work again.
[ . . . and his discomfort shows as he seems to immediately wondering if that was too much information to share.
Sometimes they don't even notice. It's a Retrospec thing.
[ . . . . but the truth is that he actually doesn't wear his eyepatch all the time for work. If it's just for a shoot that doesn't call for it, it's not like he doesn't actually have his eye. It takes a bit of makeup magic and help from Kashuu, but sometimes he can go without it at all and look just like he used to.
[ - and he actually lets that bit of honesty to slip out. He blinks owlishly, looking over at Sakichi as if he's the one who holds the answers. But right now he doesn't seem to remember anything. There's nothing for them to talk about.
Nothing to tie them together in any way that Sakichi recognizes.
And yet—]
... I just felt like I had to, if you were around to be found.
[ The answer lacks substance, but Sakichi decides that it's honest. Baren seems like the kind of man who likes to appear in control, so the admission of uncertainty is unexpected enough to seem earnest.
Perhaps Baren's own confusion of intent is what has made this conversation so stilted. ]
Then I'll ask no more of our shared past until you know. I can wait.
[ The promise comes easily, but no less seriously. Even if Baren had not asked, keeping him informed would be the most productive course of action. Who would be able to provide context better than he at this point? ]
Is there anyone else here who shares memories with us?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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You're remarkably bad at giving straight answers. Stop wasting my time.
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Regardless Baren just waves a hand - ]
You're in too much of a rush about something you know nothing about.
[ - which he almost likes? But there's also the need to be difficult and stubborn, as always. He shakes his head even as he tries to get his head on straight.]
You never would've called me "sir", to start. I'm pretty sure you'd yell at yourself for doing it?
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[ Sakichi can believe this. ]
I'm not in a rush. You're simply too roundabout.
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[an extra, peacock-level type of reaction, but a reaction.
. . . . but honestly it's not like Sakichi's wrong.]
... It might've been something like that. I wouldn't call us friendly, but—
[ . . . he wouldn't call them enemies either. Not strangers, either. Baren said he'd leave Sakichi behind without a doubt. They must not have been that close. But then he later decided to trust him. He glances over, wondering if he could trust him again.
He doesn't actually say that.]
.... Seems more complicated than that.
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Sakichi doesn't bat an eyelash at being called annoying... ]
Who were we as people?
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[ . . . ]
Not a suggestion for tonight, by the way.
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[ he's growing old talking to you baren ]
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[Automatically - because he still won't open his door to Sakichi. Okuni wouldn't get it. That might sting more.]
What do you mean - as people? You want me to tell you who you used to be? Even before you remember anything else? You don't even recognize me, you know?
[Isn't that faith a little too blind?]
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[ Sakichi agreed to meet Baren instantly because of this snap judgment... ]
If you don't want to talk about the past, then tell me about the present. Who are you now? Chuuya was light on details.
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It's probably clear from the way that Baren's face drops so immediately that he doesn't think to put a poker face on. Well, that cat sure did get out of the bag immediately. fuck. still, there's the swirling wonder. the idle temptation.
Sakichi would believe anything then. He's too straightforward and honest not to, expecting the same from everyone else. Baren could tell him anything. They were good friends. Trusted confidants. Sakichi would follow Baren wherever he went, listen to his every word. It would be an easy way to keep tabs on him, keep him close enough that Baren wouldn't have to worry about other harm befalling him.
.... it'd be a lie.
It's not like he doesn't lie all the time though.
..... For some reason the words never make it out of his mouth, and instead Sakichi asks a different question.]
Now...?
Baren. [ . . . . holy fuck he's never talked about himself before. for once it's not stubbornness that stays his hand, but rather the simple fact that he's never had to introduce himself before. never wanted to.] What do you want to know?
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What's your occupation? How long have you lived here?
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Those are easy things to answer.
......
So of course Baren dodges, even if he's not supposed to.]
... are you getting to know me because you think you have to?
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And here Sakichi thought he was lobbing Baren some easy pitches. Irritation furrows his brow even further. ]
Don't ask pointless questions. There is nothing I do because I "have to". If I didn't want to know more about you, I wouldn't be asking. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be walking beside you with my own two feet.
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anyway - ]
But you're doing it because you knew that I was looking for you, and because you're going off of the assumption that we're from the same world. That something about our souls know each other from a different time - right?
[A shake of his head and there's a flash of irritation, even if he can't say what it's for exactly:] You're not wrong, but you're also taking my word for it.
My question isn't pointless. You don't need to get to know the me of now if all you're looking for are answers to the past.
[ - but it's not like Baren is giving him those answers either. Another shake of his head, this time even more openly irritated.]
Look, you're here for information? Anything? Then trade. I don't like interrogations.
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But arguing the point will not be productive, so he decides to let it lie. ]
Very well. An answer for an answer. What do you want to know?
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[ - the same things Sakichi wanted to know, to start, apparently.]
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But Sakichi answers honestly, automatically. ]
I've lived here for most of my life. I was away for military service until recently. Currently, I'm a mail carrier for the Post Office.
I would ask the same questions of you.
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Three years in Recollé, I worked as a model and took a break a few months ago. I'm back at work again.
[ . . . and his discomfort shows as he seems to immediately wondering if that was too much information to share.
Someone doesn't do this a lot.
Anyway.]
When did you leave for the military?
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In 2013. My contract entailed four years of active duty. I'll be on inactive reserve for four more years.
[ He signed up almost immediately after graduating high school. It was something he knew he wanted to do well in advance. ]
Is your modeling work not hampered by your need for an eyepatch?
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[ . . . . but the truth is that he actually doesn't wear his eyepatch all the time for work. If it's just for a shoot that doesn't call for it, it's not like he doesn't actually have his eye. It takes a bit of makeup magic and help from Kashuu, but sometimes he can go without it at all and look just like he used to.
He doesn't say that.
But it's kind of funny.
How they exactly missed each other until today.]
Do you think the universe likes to play jokes?
[Apparently that's his real question.]
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I think the universe likes to test us.
[ Whether or not people pass those tests is a question of patience and willpower. ]
What did you hope to gain by finding me?
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[ - and he actually lets that bit of honesty to slip out. He blinks owlishly, looking over at Sakichi as if he's the one who holds the answers. But right now he doesn't seem to remember anything. There's nothing for them to talk about.
Nothing to tie them together in any way that Sakichi recognizes.
And yet—]
... I just felt like I had to, if you were around to be found.
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Perhaps Baren's own confusion of intent is what has made this conversation so stilted. ]
Then I'll ask no more of our shared past until you know. I can wait.
[ He looks at Baren. ]
Did you have any more questions?
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Baren stops walking and turns to Sakichi.]
You'll tell me if you remember anything? Anything at all.
[less of a question and more of a demand
but ok]
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I will. You have my word.
[ The promise comes easily, but no less seriously. Even if Baren had not asked, keeping him informed would be the most productive course of action. Who would be able to provide context better than he at this point? ]
Is there anyone else here who shares memories with us?
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1/2
2/2
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