Anyway, you're not going to be stealing any chickens today, so don't get too excited about it. It's my job to keep an eye on people when they start doing stupid things.
But he's also not going to let Baren wander off to die alone in the big city, so he's easily darting over to chacha slide his way in front, blocking his path. Don't make him throw down on the sidewalk.]
Why don't you just go say hi to V instead? You'll hurt his feelings if you get another one, anyway.
Yeah, okay, but like... consider. Why would I be wasting my time trying to sell really unbelievable lies to someone I don't know? That's stupid. I'm busy. The city is a mess and I have a lot to do, y'know!
[HUFFS and then HERE IT COMES.]
But I'm still your friend even if you're being an idiot, and I still promised not to lie to you and to have your back as your sword. I'm not about to let you wander off and do something you're gonna regret when you're normal again.
[WHY ARE THEY YELLING!! PEOPLE ARE STARING, BAREN BARENSON.]
Shut up! Shut up!! Why are you so loud?!
[He's not yelling as high key loud as Baren but his voice is still raising, which probably isn't helping. Neither is the vigorous handflapping he's doing in Baren's direction, as if that will magic his shouts away.]
Anyway, it's not my fault you don't remember anything! But I still have to take responsibility!! That's your fault, too!
[two morons screeching at each other in the street
another day that ends in Y]
I don't get how any of this shit's my fault! I'm just trying to mind my own fucking business and then you come up and start saying all that weird shit?! Learn some boundaries! What the fuck...!
[LOOK. Baren is a butthead but he's a relatively light butthead for one (1) part-tsukumogami to carry around...
That said, he doesn't actually want to?? He knows Baren is still going to make things as difficult as possible and he'll probably get kicked in the head or something SO.]
Hey. D'you at least remember what tsukumogami are?
[for fuck's sake let go of him. he obviously looks annoyed that kashuu hasn't just released him so he can bolt
but WOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE there's the tensing in baren's posture bc this looks like that on scene from aladdin where the fruit seller was gonna chop off an arm]
[HE'S ABOUT TO CHOP OFF BAREN'S STUPID FEET SO HE CAN'T RUN ALL OVER THE CITY BEING AN IDIOT, THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON.
Except he just sort of lifts the blade - still sheathed - up.]
This is me.
[Which is the first time he's ever made such a direct verbal connection between himself and the sword that he refuses to put down... That said, in a move that might have normal Recolle Baren hurtling down from the sky to kick his ass, he holds it out.]
If you're really so worried about whether or not you can trust me, then you can hold onto this. You better be gentle with me, though.
[normal Recolle Baren would absolutely be screaming in this moment insisting that Kashuu not trust someone that just happens to look like him with his sword, what are you doing you stupid bag of trail mix motherfucker
- instead Baren will blink once, twice. The other hand that was itching for the knife on his person instead reaches out to take the sword from Kashuu with an experienced hold. He knows what he's doing, apparently.]
... Collateral?
[why does he have to say it like that. regardless he seems to take that into consideration, brow furrowing.]
... Ah. [even if the tsukumogami part is bullshit, someone else gave baren his sword. that's reason enough to at least listen. it doesn't make sense any other way to cut it. baren immediately moves to keep the sword at his side, letting it fall right into place where the kumou sword would normally be.] Fine.
[He's a stupid bag of trail mix with too much trust in his little trail mix heart...
And a little bit of surprise that - for a second - is visible on his face. Baren's not exactly sloppy with a blade, but there's a noticeable difference between the way he'd been held before and the way he's being held now. He can recognize the familiarity instantly.]
—Sure.
[What a STUPID WORD TO USE, GOD-- But as long as he's left the immediate dangerzone of Baren possibly just darting off into traffic to try and escape, he's more or less accomplished what he was after.]
Anyway, I wasn't lying. Yasusada tried to attack our microwave. If you don't remember things like that, you could end up getting, I dunno... stuck in an escalator or falling down a manhole or something. I seriously just don't want you to hurt yourself out here, especially since reality's kinda unstable right now.
Baren blinks once like that's something he's supposed to recognize, but he doesn't.]
What kind of person are you taking me for....
[he's kind of offended by that? look, he's managed to figure out some things decently. street signs are fine, for example. there's a lot of Watch and Learn going on, but at least he wasn't walked into traffic (mor than once). but regardless he'll shake his head and move to pull his hand out of kashuu's grip assuming that he won't run anymore]
[SOMEWHERE, YASUSADA IS CRYING... Except not because he doesn't remember anything either. Why is Kashuu the eternal babysitter??
In any case, he'll let Baren fetch his hand back without any fuss, immediately crossing his arms over his chest once his own hands are free.]
Look, I don't have any precedent for how you'd deal with something like this and I don't like taking risks.
[Not this kind of risk, anyway. He's taking no chances?! Though it's true that Baren seems to be handling things much better than Yasusada, who's his only other point of reference... Tragic.
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[WHY DOES
HE LIKE THAT MORE]
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[FLATLY.]
Anyway, you're not going to be stealing any chickens today, so don't get too excited about it. It's my job to keep an eye on people when they start doing stupid things.
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because there's the flash of irritation before he's going to turn on his heel and announce]
Well now I have to go find a giant chicken to steal!
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But he's also not going to let Baren wander off to die alone in the big city, so he's easily darting over to chacha slide his way in front, blocking his path. Don't make him throw down on the sidewalk.]
Why don't you just go say hi to V instead? You'll hurt his feelings if you get another one, anyway.
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[can you believe
baren forgot his fucking chocobo son]
Seriously, if you're talking in code, I'm gonna kick your ass.
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V's the name of your big chicken, stupid. Louis McQueen Stella Galliano Wang Rykiel Vuitton.
[I HATE THIS.]
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[THIS IS NOT GOING TO GET ANY BETTER.]
What are you trying to tell me? Speak clearly.
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[Just shoves the shitpost blame on Baren...]
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[HE'S JUST AN OLD TIMEY SAMURAI LET HIM LIVE]
A lot of what you're saying doesn't sound like me? Doesn't really make you sound that credible, you know.
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[HUFFS and then HERE IT COMES.]
But I'm still your friend even if you're being an idiot, and I still promised not to lie to you and to have your back as your sword. I'm not about to let you wander off and do something you're gonna regret when you're normal again.
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?!
[SUDDENLY WE ARE YELLING NOW]
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SAYING TO A STRANGER?!
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Shut up! Shut up!! Why are you so loud?!
[He's not yelling as high key loud as Baren but his voice is still raising, which probably isn't helping. Neither is the vigorous handflapping he's doing in Baren's direction, as if that will magic his shouts away.]
Anyway, it's not my fault you don't remember anything! But I still have to take responsibility!! That's your fault, too!
[Damn, why does Baren have to be so difficult.]
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another day that ends in Y]
I don't get how any of this shit's my fault! I'm just trying to mind my own fucking business and then you come up and start saying all that weird shit?! Learn some boundaries! What the fuck...!
[he's just tsunning
and turning to walk away again
dammit baren]
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He's also continuing to just shit all over boundaries because as Baren turns to walk away this time, he reaches out and just.
Locks down onto his wrist with a vice grip.
Because, y'know. Not human and all. Or at least inhuman enough to be stronger than the average noodle.]
I will literally carry you all the way to my place if you don't walk there yourself. I'm serious.
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he hates that a lot because suddenly he can't pull away. or move. and that's pretty bullshit. and since baren's a fucking hyperparanoid moron - ]
So it was a trick after all.
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That said, he doesn't actually want to?? He knows Baren is still going to make things as difficult as possible and he'll probably get kicked in the head or something SO.]
Hey. D'you at least remember what tsukumogami are?
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Like the youkai?
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Yeah, like the youkai. Tea caddies that've been around for a hundred years or whatever, that kinda stuff.
[And after SQUINTING AT BAREN........... he gently eases his grip, so he can reach for the bag slung over his shoulder instead.]
Humor me for a second, okay?
[So he can PULL OUT HIS SWORD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET but it's fine since no one who's off the network finds it weird, anyway.]
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but WOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE there's the tensing in baren's posture bc this looks like that on scene from aladdin where the fruit seller was gonna chop off an arm]
If you have a point, make it already!
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Except he just sort of lifts the blade - still sheathed - up.]
This is me.
[Which is the first time he's ever made such a direct verbal connection between himself and the sword that he refuses to put down... That said, in a move that might have normal Recolle Baren hurtling down from the sky to kick his ass, he holds it out.]
If you're really so worried about whether or not you can trust me, then you can hold onto this. You better be gentle with me, though.
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- instead Baren will blink once, twice. The other hand that was itching for the knife on his person instead reaches out to take the sword from Kashuu with an experienced hold. He knows what he's doing, apparently.]
... Collateral?
[why does he have to say it like that. regardless he seems to take that into consideration, brow furrowing.]
... Ah. [even if the tsukumogami part is bullshit, someone else gave baren his sword. that's reason enough to at least listen. it doesn't make sense any other way to cut it. baren immediately moves to keep the sword at his side, letting it fall right into place where the kumou sword would normally be.] Fine.
Tell me what's in it for you.
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And a little bit of surprise that - for a second - is visible on his face. Baren's not exactly sloppy with a blade, but there's a noticeable difference between the way he'd been held before and the way he's being held now. He can recognize the familiarity instantly.]
—Sure.
[What a STUPID WORD TO USE, GOD-- But as long as he's left the immediate dangerzone of Baren possibly just darting off into traffic to try and escape, he's more or less accomplished what he was after.]
Anyway, I wasn't lying. Yasusada tried to attack our microwave. If you don't remember things like that, you could end up getting, I dunno... stuck in an escalator or falling down a manhole or something. I seriously just don't want you to hurt yourself out here, especially since reality's kinda unstable right now.
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Baren blinks once like that's something he's supposed to recognize, but he doesn't.]
What kind of person are you taking me for....
[he's kind of offended by that? look, he's managed to figure out some things decently. street signs are fine, for example. there's a lot of Watch and Learn going on, but at least he wasn't walked into traffic (mor than once). but regardless he'll shake his head and move to pull his hand out of kashuu's grip assuming that he won't run anymore]
You said you were my sword?
[a tsukumogami... but his sword.... ok.jpg]
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In any case, he'll let Baren fetch his hand back without any fuss, immediately crossing his arms over his chest once his own hands are free.]
Look, I don't have any precedent for how you'd deal with something like this and I don't like taking risks.
[Not this kind of risk, anyway. He's taking no chances?! Though it's true that Baren seems to be handling things much better than Yasusada, who's his only other point of reference... Tragic.
As for that:]
Yeah. You asked me to be, so I said yes.
[They got married on the samurai astral plane.]
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So are you protecting me?
[it's a remarkably straightforward question - but that's the point of a sword, isn't it. to protect what matters to you.]
My sword is missing at the moment - well, the family sword - so are you offering to serve in its stead?
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