ic inbox.

[crudest]

Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[crudest]

yeah? you'll put in a formal complaint about us being apart?

give rimbo a lot of affection and attention for me, okay?
i'll pay you back twice over when i'm back

trouble? me and z?
never

you got a meeting with carly huh

[doublesmall]

I just might do it, yeah.

and even if you two don't look for trouble it's going to find you anyway, isn't it, don't tell me it won't

we don't have a meeting or anything but we're in contact with him for the mission, I could just message him to complain if I felt like it.

[and attached to this text is a picture of rimbaud curled up by the door, lying there staring at it. chuuya's moved his food and water there for him.

...judging by how close the camera is to him, chuuya is also hanging out right there with the cat to give him attention.]

[crudest]

okay okay even if trouble finds us
we'll behave

don't pick fights with the employees chuu
we might need things from them in the future




also stop it
stop that entirely
go do something else
i don't need to have you both watching the door for me when i know i can't go home
i hate it

[doublesmall]

fine, fine, I'll save it for after we're done here.

and what do you want me to do, just leave him here?? it's too sad, I can't

he's still getting spoiled, trust me.

[this time he gets a short cellphone video of rimbaud getting belly rubs and purring up a storm; he hasn't moved, but he is distracted, at least.]

[crudest]

[baren loves this cat............ so much.]

stop
now i'm suffering

also we're not getting a dog
stop enlisting mimi in your schemes

[doublesmall]

?? what schemes are you talking about, I never even said anything about wanting a dog

[crudest]

[baren's all too quick to send chuuya the same photos that mimi gave him

in particular the one where the chihuahua is licking his nose

and another random photo where chuuya's just staring at the dog]

i said no

[doublesmall]

WHEN THE FUCK DID SHE EVEN TAKE THOSE

was she sending you these?!

[crudest]

we're related

[ . . . he thinks that actually

answers both questions really well]

[doublesmall]

yeah you sure are.

look, I had nothing to do with her deciding to send those, I don't know why you're accusing me of scheming and dragging her in

if I want something I'll say so

[crudest]

you probably want a dog and just think i'll say no
which i will
because we have a cat a tanuki and a chocobo
though i guess v is more kiyo's son than yours
you can be the chocobo stepdad

my answer doesn't change

[doublesmall]

I don't want to be any kind of chocobo parent, you two can keep your hell bird.

I wouldn't mind a dog, this one's really cute, but I still wasn't going to ask for one

[crudest]

how dare you say that about my son
v is beautiful????
you can't pick and choose the kids you get, chuu
what the fuck look at him

[attached is this selfie that kashuu sent. enjoy.]

good
because i can't run a zoo

[doublesmall]

three animals isn't a zoo, baren

and look I'm sure he's great for a bird, that's cute and all, but I still don't like them

[crudest]

ah
i knew i'd have to find something new and annoying about you sometime

[doublesmall]

a chocobo tried to steal my niece and my hat at the same time

those things are all at least a little evil

[crudest]

you know that's only half a tragedy right
i hope a swamp monster eats your hat

but you know
if i didn't decide to steal v
i probably wouldn't have ended up at your apartment after i got on the app
and we never would've talked about your crime bullshit
so
in short
say thanks to him next time

[doublesmall]

oh fuck you, maybe a wolf will steal your dumb bells or something

and I bet we would have talked about it eventually, you'd have seen that post about my gravity and asked about it or shit would've come up some other way

I'm not giving your bird the credit

[crudest]

i'm giving my bird credit!
dumbest romance story ever told
all because of a chocobo

[doublesmall]

absolutely fucking not

I'll give the app credit before I'll say it was the bird

[crudest]

you'll give jimjam credit?
ew

[doublesmall]

I said the app, not jim. fuck that guy.

[crudest]

retrospec and the people at the company are similar entities
just say thanks to my damn bird you stubborn little shit

[doublesmall]

your bird isn't even here

[crudest]

when we get back to the city
be nice to him