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Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

I don't want to be any kind of chocobo parent, you two can keep your hell bird.

I wouldn't mind a dog, this one's really cute, but I still wasn't going to ask for one

how dare you say that about my son
v is beautiful????
you can't pick and choose the kids you get, chuu
what the fuck look at him

[attached is this selfie that kashuu sent. enjoy.]

good
because i can't run a zoo

three animals isn't a zoo, baren

and look I'm sure he's great for a bird, that's cute and all, but I still don't like them

ah
i knew i'd have to find something new and annoying about you sometime

a chocobo tried to steal my niece and my hat at the same time

those things are all at least a little evil

you know that's only half a tragedy right
i hope a swamp monster eats your hat

but you know
if i didn't decide to steal v
i probably wouldn't have ended up at your apartment after i got on the app
and we never would've talked about your crime bullshit
so
in short
say thanks to him next time

oh fuck you, maybe a wolf will steal your dumb bells or something

and I bet we would have talked about it eventually, you'd have seen that post about my gravity and asked about it or shit would've come up some other way

I'm not giving your bird the credit

i'm giving my bird credit!
dumbest romance story ever told
all because of a chocobo

absolutely fucking not

I'll give the app credit before I'll say it was the bird

you'll give jimjam credit?
ew

I said the app, not jim. fuck that guy.

retrospec and the people at the company are similar entities
just say thanks to my damn bird you stubborn little shit

your bird isn't even here

when we get back to the city
be nice to him

yeah, yeah, I'll think about it.

if it bites me I refuse to be nice though

kiyo and i are better parents than that?

there's only so much parenting you can do to demons with feathers

i'm gonna kick your ass when we get back
or not pay attention to you for like an hour
still trying to figure out which one would actually do more damage