[sometime during anya's nekomimi birthday party, chuuya sends baren a quick selfie of himself behind the bar: his hat is off, and he's wearing a pair of orange cat ears close to the shade of his hair. you're welcome.]
I don't know why I thought I could get out of the party theme, she's way too convincing for her own good.
It's so stupid that it manages to get Baren to laugh upon opening the message, clutching his stomach as he absolutely startles anyone who's hanging out with him because he finds it too funny.]
💯💯💯
i have to see this shit in person when are you free from teeny bopper hell
listen, I gotta get back to making sure the teens don't fucking die or something, I'll see you in a while
[and that's going to be the last text baren gets, besides a quick message to tell him he's on the way home; if there's any response, chuuya won't answer.
when he gets home, his hat is back on his head. there's no sign of the cat ears.]
Fuck, okay, never doing that again. ...she seemed happy, though, so I guess it wasn't all bad.
[Chuuya will need to repeat the first part of that sentence because Baren was definitely napping on the couch. He hears most of it, seeing as he was stirring just as he heard Chuuya's keys in the door, but....
A yawn.]
Happy birthday..... An... something...
[He remembers her name... He's just being Like This.]
[chuuya rolls his eyes as he locks the door behind him-- don't be that way, baren-- then removes his shoes and coat and makes his way over to the couch, sitting next to baren.
...where he finally removes his hat to show that yes, he is in fact still wearing the cat ears. he just had to be tsun about it.]
[of course he's going to be that way, he just woke up. and he's scooting over to one side of the couch, literally about to complain about the hat and how this is a terrible trick and trap. he came all this way for nothing and chuuya should feel bad about wasting his time—
and then he takes off the hat.
and then there are stupid cat ears and baren is blinking once, twice
before the laughter sort of just. bubbles. it starts slow, disbelieving and amused, before he cracks up and clutches his stomach as he does, because - ]
Holy shit! You actually— that's so dumb! What the fuck...?!
[even if it's hard to get the words out through laughter, his sheer amusement at this absolutely ridiculous, mundane thing]
He hasn't flirted with Chuuya for even a second since the confession. He hasn't done anything to try to make him jealous, hasn't baited him, hasn't gone out of his way to engage in his regular jackassery so that he could try to convince Chuuya that this wasn't a good idea for either of them.
He said he'd try to make a decision and he has been.
Still, he catches the thought bubble before he realizes it's there and shakes his head - laughing even still as he gets shoved.]
That doesn't mean you just agree to anything I want!
[Even if that's always been what Chuuya's done.
And while Baren's defenses are down, while he's just sincerely amused and not second-guessing himself -
Like you wouldn't just bug me to do it if I didn't!
[another eyeroll, but a fond one this time.
much as he tries not to look at the bubbles, he catches them anyway-- it's hard not to look-- and hell if seeing something like that isn't bad for his heart. baren in general is bad for his heart, sure, but jesus.
[It'd be pretty dumb if cat ears are the thing to tip me over. Too furry.
At least he has some sense of awareness.
.... even as he reads over Chuuya's thought bubble and looks away automatically, some of his laughter dying a little bit in his throat as he feels his heart rate pick up. Shit.
What the hell is this? Being nervous around Chuu - for real?
Still, he has to try even as his own thoughts are betraying him.]
... Ah - well, at least I always knew you were an idiot.
[Baren is about to huff at that elbowing, scooting further away if it gives Chuuya less room to mess with him - and he ends up catching those thoughts and pointing aggressively.]
Oh fuck you, if I knew what was messing me up, then I'd get rid of it so I wasn't feeling - like... this!
[Nervous. The word is nervous.
Just don't say things like that, it's too - nice. It's too much. It's
a series of squiggles as Baren's thoughts are no longer able to be expressed in words aside from one flash, even as he doesn't quite succeed in wiping off his irritation
[he means to meet that with equal frustration, because he doesn't know what else to do with a reaction like that-- you can't just get rid of shit like that flashes through his own bubble, but then he catches sight of baren's last thought.
and fuck, he probably shouldn't say it. just let it go. he's tried for this long to avoid pressing baren, to give him space and let him work it out, but--]
When have I ever paid attention to what I should or shouldn't do anyway? But fuck that's probably what counts as shitty decisions so I shouldn't get Chuu caught up in that anymore. But he wants to be caught up and isn't it fine for people to want what they want. It doesn't make sense for him to want me. Some shit doesn't have to make sense. I want him to want me. He deserves better than this.
And it's almost breathless when Baren speaks again, gaze snapping to the door - ]
[sometimes, chuuya questions his life and choices, and for a split second he thinks this may be one of those moments. how the fuck did he end up in love with someone who'll think things like that and then try to leave?]
Baren.
[he grabs at baren's wrist, taking hold of it; he's not about to let baren run off that easily, not now.]
I don't give a shit what you think I deserve or not, alright? Were you even listening when we had that conversation?
[If you tell me no, it can't be for the same kind of reason. It has to be the truth. I don't want you doing it to push you away, I'm not gonna forgive you if you do.
it's a repeat of what he'd said to baren then, and it still holds true.]
Chuuya grabs his wrist and Baren wonders if it's gravity powers at play that make him feel anchored to the spot - but then there's the flash where he has to give himself a reality check.
I don't want to admit I want to be here.]
I was, stupid but -
[There's a shake of his head and he tries to clear his thoughts, tries to get the words to come out of his mouth and not out of this stupid glitch that Retrospec gave him.]
.... You know -
[He grits his teeth and - he gets what Chuuya wants, he does. To be kept. To belong to someone. To have that direction that he can't get on his own, that's the kind of person that he is. Baren doesn't mind taking ownership of others, of being the brains, that's how it is with a few others but.
This is different because - having partner mean something more...
He breathes out and finally manages, repeating:]
.... you know, if I keep you, you have to keep me too.
[when baren doesn't move to try to leave, chuuya waits. as long as he isn't going anywhere, chuuya doesn't mind being patient just a little bit longer.
...he's still not expecting those words, though, and for a moment he's struck silent, finding it hard to answer when he feels like he's stopped breathing. as much as he wanted to hear them, or something like them, they throw him off for several seconds before he finally manages an incredulous little huff.]
You don't have to say obvious shit, Baren. But-
[he lets go of baren's wrist, then, just long enough to take hold of his hand instead.]
You know I'd keep you as long as you still wanted to be mine.
The thought is at least stopped short when Chuuya takes his hand. Baren tenses, if only because... it's such a sincere, genuine action that he's again left faltering in front of it. Chuuya always treats him this kindly and he doesn't know what to do with it.
Except continue to take.
He squeezes Chuuya's hand once in warning before just pulling, tugging him forward and closer.
It's an impulse. Baren is used to carefully laid plans, long-term intentions, everything that suggests that he should be thinking more carefully -
things like what does he have left to prove, anyway, or 'you literally couldn't get rid of me if you tried.' something more genuine and appropriate, maybe.
but with baren pulling him closer like that, telling him to prove it... well. there's really only one way chuuya knows how to respond to that, in the moment.
chuuya shifts forward, right into his lap, and presses his lips to baren's in an intent, impulsive kiss, one that's sure to leave him breathless much faster than usual but fuck it, fuck moderation, fuck everything that isn't kissing the hell out of him right now.]
he feels the electricity run up his spine as he wraps an arm around Chuuya's waist and pulls him in, close and flush as he meets him for that kiss seeing as he had a feeling that's what was coming. his fingers automatically curl into the back of chuuya's shirt, as if to keep him there even when baren has to pull away, overwhelmed and breathless and yet still thinking too much - ]
Talk - Chuu, we have to - [he's also not helping his own case as he briefly chases after chuuya's mouth with his own for brief, fleeting kisses] - we still have to figure shit out.
[even if this is the answer baren expected. wanted. the option:]
[those brief kisses make it hard to even get that much of an answer out, because chuuya has much less self-control than baren does. surely baren expected no less.]
C'mon, you can't do-- this shit- and ask me to stop and talk, we'll talk after--
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9/19 ig this page of your inbox is just 50% me
I don't know why I thought I could get out of the party theme, she's way too convincing for her own good.
so what do you think, do they match?
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It's so stupid that it manages to get Baren to laugh upon opening the message, clutching his stomach as he absolutely startles anyone who's hanging out with him because he finds it too funny.]
i have to see this shit in person
when are you free from teeny bopper hell
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give me like three hours and I should be home, going to have to clean up at the bar after
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cmon chuu it's the best joke you've told in years
three hours of more teenagers
Yikes
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I'll make it out alive, probably
but if I don't then you better take care of rimbaud for me
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listen, I gotta get back to making sure the teens don't fucking die or something, I'll see you in a while
[and that's going to be the last text baren gets, besides a quick message to tell him he's on the way home; if there's any response, chuuya won't answer.
when he gets home, his hat is back on his head. there's no sign of the cat ears.]
Fuck, okay, never doing that again. ...she seemed happy, though, so I guess it wasn't all bad.
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A yawn.]
Happy birthday..... An... something...
[He remembers her name... He's just being Like This.]
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[chuuya rolls his eyes as he locks the door behind him-- don't be that way, baren-- then removes his shoes and coat and makes his way over to the couch, sitting next to baren.
...where he finally removes his hat to show that yes, he is in fact still wearing the cat ears. he just had to be tsun about it.]
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and then he takes off the hat.
and then there are stupid cat ears and baren is blinking once, twice
before the laughter sort of just. bubbles. it starts slow, disbelieving and amused, before he cracks up and clutches his stomach as he does, because - ]
Holy shit! You actually— that's so dumb! What the fuck...?!
[even if it's hard to get the words out through laughter, his sheer amusement at this absolutely ridiculous, mundane thing]
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but he hasn't heard baren laugh like that in entirely too long, and chuuya can't help the smile that pulls at his mouth.]
Oh, shut the fuck up, you're the one who wanted to see it-!
[chuuya reaches over to shove at him, but that smile's not going anywhere, and there's one of those helpful little thought bubbles.
I missed hearing that.]
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He hasn't flirted with Chuuya for even a second since the confession. He hasn't done anything to try to make him jealous, hasn't baited him, hasn't gone out of his way to engage in his regular jackassery so that he could try to convince Chuuya that this wasn't a good idea for either of them.
He said he'd try to make a decision and he has been.
Still, he catches the thought bubble before he realizes it's there and shakes his head - laughing even still as he gets shoved.]
That doesn't mean you just agree to anything I want!
[Even if that's always been what Chuuya's done.
And while Baren's defenses are down, while he's just sincerely amused and not second-guessing himself -
Still funny, Chuu. Shit, I like you.
Then, the telling bit as Baren thinks too much -
Maybe more than I should.]
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[another eyeroll, but a fond one this time.
much as he tries not to look at the bubbles, he catches them anyway-- it's hard not to look-- and hell if seeing something like that isn't bad for his heart. baren in general is bad for his heart, sure, but jesus.
Fuck 'should', who gets to decide that anyway?]
...maybe I just felt like it.
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At least he has some sense of awareness.
.... even as he reads over Chuuya's thought bubble and looks away automatically, some of his laughter dying a little bit in his throat as he feels his heart rate pick up. Shit.
What the hell is this? Being nervous around Chuu - for real?
Still, he has to try even as his own thoughts are betraying him.]
... Ah - well, at least I always knew you were an idiot.
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What's there to be nervous about, anyway?
chuuya huffs out a breath and elbows baren for that last comment, trying to just. leave the bubbles alone, for now.]
Yeah, well, I'm an idiot you still associate with, so don't go trying to blame it all on me. Asshole.
[he's... not bothering to remove the ears though. whatever, it's fine.]
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Oh fuck you, if I knew what was messing me up, then I'd get rid of it so I wasn't feeling - like... this!
[Nervous. The word is nervous.
Just don't say things like that, it's too - nice. It's too much. It's
a series of squiggles as Baren's thoughts are no longer able to be expressed in words aside from one flash, even as he doesn't quite succeed in wiping off his irritation
it makes me want to keep you]
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and fuck, he probably shouldn't say it. just let it go. he's tried for this long to avoid pressing baren, to give him space and let him work it out, but--]
Then do.
[Fuck, that was out loud wasn't it-
and alright, fine, if he's gone that far:]
You already have me anyway, idiot.
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[Shouldn't.
It starts a small avalanche.
When have I ever paid attention to what I should or shouldn't do anyway? But fuck that's probably what counts as shitty decisions so I shouldn't get Chuu caught up in that anymore. But he wants to be caught up and isn't it fine for people to want what they want. It doesn't make sense for him to want me. Some shit doesn't have to make sense. I want him to want me. He deserves better than this.
And it's almost breathless when Baren speaks again, gaze snapping to the door - ]
I have to go.
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Baren.
[he grabs at baren's wrist, taking hold of it; he's not about to let baren run off that easily, not now.]
I don't give a shit what you think I deserve or not, alright? Were you even listening when we had that conversation?
[If you tell me no, it can't be for the same kind of reason. It has to be the truth. I don't want you doing it to push you away, I'm not gonna forgive you if you do.
it's a repeat of what he'd said to baren then, and it still holds true.]
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Chuuya grabs his wrist and Baren wonders if it's gravity powers at play that make him feel anchored to the spot - but then there's the flash where he has to give himself a reality check.
I don't want to admit I want to be here.]
I was, stupid but -
[There's a shake of his head and he tries to clear his thoughts, tries to get the words to come out of his mouth and not out of this stupid glitch that Retrospec gave him.]
.... You know -
[He grits his teeth and - he gets what Chuuya wants, he does. To be kept. To belong to someone. To have that direction that he can't get on his own, that's the kind of person that he is. Baren doesn't mind taking ownership of others, of being the brains, that's how it is with a few others but.
This is different because - having partner mean something more...
He breathes out and finally manages, repeating:]
.... you know, if I keep you, you have to keep me too.
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...he's still not expecting those words, though, and for a moment he's struck silent, finding it hard to answer when he feels like he's stopped breathing. as much as he wanted to hear them, or something like them, they throw him off for several seconds before he finally manages an incredulous little huff.]
You don't have to say obvious shit, Baren. But-
[he lets go of baren's wrist, then, just long enough to take hold of his hand instead.]
You know I'd keep you as long as you still wanted to be mine.
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The thought is at least stopped short when Chuuya takes his hand. Baren tenses, if only because... it's such a sincere, genuine action that he's again left faltering in front of it. Chuuya always treats him this kindly and he doesn't know what to do with it.
Except continue to take.
He squeezes Chuuya's hand once in warning before just pulling, tugging him forward and closer.
It's an impulse. Baren is used to carefully laid plans, long-term intentions, everything that suggests that he should be thinking more carefully -
But he's chaotic and impulsive at heart.
Which is why it all culminates in the rush - ]
Prove it. Show me - I'll let you.
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things like what does he have left to prove, anyway, or 'you literally couldn't get rid of me if you tried.' something more genuine and appropriate, maybe.
but with baren pulling him closer like that, telling him to prove it... well. there's really only one way chuuya knows how to respond to that, in the moment.
chuuya shifts forward, right into his lap, and presses his lips to baren's in an intent, impulsive kiss, one that's sure to leave him breathless much faster than usual but fuck it, fuck moderation, fuck everything that isn't kissing the hell out of him right now.]
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and for once, Baren wants things to be simple.
he feels the electricity run up his spine as he wraps an arm around Chuuya's waist and pulls him in, close and flush as he meets him for that kiss seeing as he had a feeling that's what was coming. his fingers automatically curl into the back of chuuya's shirt, as if to keep him there even when baren has to pull away, overwhelmed and breathless and yet still thinking too much - ]
Talk - Chuu, we have to - [he's also not helping his own case as he briefly chases after chuuya's mouth with his own for brief, fleeting kisses] - we still have to figure shit out.
[even if this is the answer baren expected. wanted. the option:]
Now or later?
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[those brief kisses make it hard to even get that much of an answer out, because chuuya has much less self-control than baren does. surely baren expected no less.]
C'mon, you can't do-- this shit- and ask me to stop and talk, we'll talk after--
[how is he supposed to let go now?]
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