No. I mean my–[time for annoyance to show up. mostly because he's embarrassed.]–Are you really gonna make me say it? It's like some kid in middle school, saying I confessed or whatever.
I'm gonna kick your ass if you say crush one more time.
[remember how a few minutes he was laughing about this and totally chill? that's souring now. he's just getting irritated.]
I was serious, idiot. Did you think I was joking around? I'm not you. I meant what I said. [yup. irritation's in full swing. he takes a larger swig of that alcohol, standing up.] Pisses me off when you don't take me seriously.
Well how can I take you seriously when you said shit like -
["It's – you, idiot. Not for a few nights but as many as you let me have."
He remembers. He remembers how impossible it sounded - back then and even now. It was sincere, sure, but all first crushes are sincere. It's not like Zoro to feel infatuation for someone and who knows, maybe it just takes three years to kick up those kinds of feelings -
.... right?
Baren's brow furrows and he reads Zoro's irritation, but... what, he's supposed to believe that it wasn't shallow? It wasn't a random crush? Zoro wanted to know that Baren was sincere about sleeping with him, he felt like he was properly rejected back then?
(It feels a little useless now - because Baren knows he's going home to Chuuya tonight. The sky is blue again, the world is fucked, Baren is inextricably drawn to Chuuya.)
... but he's still trying to wrap his head around this.]
So what - are you saying you were in love with me? [Or - something on its way to that?] I'm supposed to believe that?
Are you–[fucking serious. Zoro spins around, arms out, the bottle still in one hand.] –Yeah! Yeah! You're supposed to believe it now and you were supposed to believe it back then!
[because it's not like anything's changed on his side. he's just had to shift his affection from that hazy zone of romance to purely platonic. it was hard–it hurt a frustrating amount he'll never admit to–but he managed it because he had to. because that was the answer baren had given him.
or that's the answer zoro had thought baren had given him.]
And you call me the idiot. [did this mean his rejection hadn't been truly sincere? does this mean there had been a chance. a maybe, a what-if? never once had he wanted that. never once did he want to stay up late thinking about what he could have done to make it work out. especially not now, when it truly could never be.
but now? that was pretty much all he'd think about for the rest of the night.
zoro downs the rest of the whiskey and throws the bottle on the deck. it shatters but he doesn't care. he'll clean it up later. when they were back on shore. when baren was gone. he starts the boat back up again.]
There's a furrowing of his brow because - even after throwing the option out there, even after asking for direct confirmation that Zoro was in love with him - he never expected the answer to be yes.
In what universe does that make sense?
Zoro is kind. He's dumb, loud, boorish, and runs into both danger and delicate situations the exact same way: without thinking. But he's kind. He's kind, loyal, dedicated, and does everything Baren asks for and more. Baren has known that. The search for the strawhats has been the attempt, the meager, tiny, step by step attempt at repaying Zoro for everything he does for Baren. Has done for him in the small span of three years.
And Baren's existence is still a mistake.]
Z.
[He's not sure what he's gonna say but he feels like he needs to say something.]
Ryouta - hey, shut up and look at me. I'm taking you seriously.
[That's it. That's all Baren's getting for the whole trip home. They come up to the docks in silence. Zoro turns off the boat. If Baren's not the first one off, he is.]
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Motherfucker, are you seriously telling me you didn't think I was trying to get in your pants? I would've gotten bored once you stopped reacting—
[THAT'S NOT THE IMPORTANT PART]
Rewind - when did I turn you down? Was I drunk? I don't drink that much? You're the one who led me on at the fucking hotel...!
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[what hotel? or rather, which one?]
No. It was in the apartment. You were pissed, I apologized. How the hell don't you remember that?
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You mean your crush?
[don't open this hellbox, baren, don't do it]
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You confessed a crush.
[NO HE DIDN'T, BAREN, STOP SAYING THAT]
Are you still not over that? You talk about Chuu so casually that I figured that it was over and done with.
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[remember how a few minutes he was laughing about this and totally chill? that's souring now. he's just getting irritated.]
I was serious, idiot. Did you think I was joking around? I'm not you. I meant what I said. [yup. irritation's in full swing. he takes a larger swig of that alcohol, standing up.] Pisses me off when you don't take me seriously.
no subject
["It's – you, idiot. Not for a few nights but as many as you let me have."
He remembers. He remembers how impossible it sounded - back then and even now. It was sincere, sure, but all first crushes are sincere. It's not like Zoro to feel infatuation for someone and who knows, maybe it just takes three years to kick up those kinds of feelings -
.... right?
Baren's brow furrows and he reads Zoro's irritation, but... what, he's supposed to believe that it wasn't shallow? It wasn't a random crush? Zoro wanted to know that Baren was sincere about sleeping with him, he felt like he was properly rejected back then?
(It feels a little useless now - because Baren knows he's going home to Chuuya tonight. The sky is blue again, the world is fucked, Baren is inextricably drawn to Chuuya.)
... but he's still trying to wrap his head around this.]
So what - are you saying you were in love with me? [Or - something on its way to that?] I'm supposed to believe that?
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[because it's not like anything's changed on his side. he's just had to shift his affection from that hazy zone of romance to purely platonic. it was hard–it hurt a frustrating amount he'll never admit to–but he managed it because he had to. because that was the answer baren had given him.
or that's the answer zoro had thought baren had given him.]
And you call me the idiot. [did this mean his rejection hadn't been truly sincere? does this mean there had been a chance. a maybe, a what-if? never once had he wanted that. never once did he want to stay up late thinking about what he could have done to make it work out. especially not now, when it truly could never be.
but now? that was pretty much all he'd think about for the rest of the night.
zoro downs the rest of the whiskey and throws the bottle on the deck. it shatters but he doesn't care. he'll clean it up later. when they were back on shore. when baren was gone. he starts the boat back up again.]
Screw this. We're heading back.
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There's a furrowing of his brow because - even after throwing the option out there, even after asking for direct confirmation that Zoro was in love with him - he never expected the answer to be yes.
In what universe does that make sense?
Zoro is kind. He's dumb, loud, boorish, and runs into both danger and delicate situations the exact same way: without thinking. But he's kind. He's kind, loyal, dedicated, and does everything Baren asks for and more. Baren has known that. The search for the strawhats has been the attempt, the meager, tiny, step by step attempt at repaying Zoro for everything he does for Baren. Has done for him in the small span of three years.
And Baren's existence is still a mistake.]
Z.
[He's not sure what he's gonna say but he feels like he needs to say something.]
Ryouta - hey, shut up and look at me. I'm taking you seriously.
no subject
[That's it. That's all Baren's getting for the whole trip home. They come up to the docks in silence. Zoro turns off the boat. If Baren's not the first one off, he is.]
Let me know if you hear anything about them.
[and. that's it. he's ~*gone into the night*~]