[ . . . . to not feel anything. Baren considers his own memories and pauses for just a second in his braiding of Nikkari's hair.]
... can't say what it means, but sometimes... battle is just a way of life. The way that things are, whether you like it or not. Sometimes it takes not feeling anything about it at all to survive before you lose your whole heart.
[The weakness is seen - acknowledged, and Baren doesn't have the words to tell Nikkari that everything is going to be alright. He lies often, but what's the point when the lie will be uncovered at any given moment? He shakes his head first, then reaches up to brush aside Nikkari's bangs so Baren can see both of his eyes. He leans in to press their foreheads together.]
You'll always be Nika - my Nika.
[The one that Baren met in the middle of a graffiti stunt, the one who sees only his curses and never his blessings, the one that turns a blind eye to every one of Baren's flaws and mistakes.]
They can't take that away.
You'll learn new shit, but who you are now isn't a lie. Believe that, at least.
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... can't say what it means, but sometimes... battle is just a way of life. The way that things are, whether you like it or not. Sometimes it takes not feeling anything about it at all to survive before you lose your whole heart.
[Or at least.
That's what he thinks.]
no subject
[he can see the logic in Baren's words, but he's also letting himself be weak. laying out the fears that had kept him awake at night.]
no subject
You'll always be Nika - my Nika.
[The one that Baren met in the middle of a graffiti stunt, the one who sees only his curses and never his blessings, the one that turns a blind eye to every one of Baren's flaws and mistakes.]
They can't take that away.
You'll learn new shit, but who you are now isn't a lie. Believe that, at least.