But his first name is still there. That means something. Baren's expression doesn't budge out of bewilderment, because he doesn't believe Sakichi. He'll remember his real name in time. That's not unlikely.
Words flit through Baren's mind - cautionary ones that were shared down the grapevine. The people in the memories might not recognize you. They might not like you. They might not even want anything to do with you.
Yet when Baren looks at Sakichi, there's the ever present memory: I'm merely worried about you.
And it fuels Baren's ever present thoughts: You gave a fuck about me when I was even worse than I am now.
Baren makes note of that - unfortunately the rest of his day is booked solid, but he'll make a note to spend the entirety of the 3rd with Chuuya as thanks (lmao).
Regardless it sounds like an opportunity to him and it's why Baren steps forward regardless of personal space, just shutting the door behind him even as he tilts his head and continues to examine Sakichi. This is him. It's definitely him. Is he on the app? Baren checks it near daily and tries to mentally run through the names in his head but - he was looking for an Ishida. This one didn't pop out to him.]
Fine.
[And he'll sidestep Sakichi at the last minute, glancing back just barely as he keeps walking.]
[ Sakichi moves slightly to make way for Baren as he moves out of the doorway, but he meets Baren's scrutiny with a steady, anticipating gaze. Chuuya said he and Baren had been looking for Sakichi for some time. Surely now an explanation will be forthcoming.
And then... Baren walks away.
???
Sakichi watches Baren's retreating back for a short second before striding to keep up -- but not without a faint stir of annoyance. Speedwalking is just about 50% of Sakichi's job, though, so it isn't any hardship for him to come up alongside Baren. ]
If you wanted to talk, this is a poor way of showing it. Where are you going at this hour?
[And at some point he'll ditch Sakichi because apparently Sakichi is a freeloader? And more than that, he's not fond of the idea of having someone come into his life and meeting Okuni - even if he probably belongs with the both of them. It's complicated, but some things are bound to stay the same.
That said, he'll take control of the conversation then - because he did want to talk. He just doesn't know if there's anything to talk about. He wants there to be, but it's not in his control.]
[ Sakichi will try his hardest to follow, but as we all know he is easily misled so have fun tricking him into losing the way, Baren... ]
No, sir.
[ The "sir" slips out automatically. A habit he hasn't made the effort to curtail. ]
I've read up on the details surrounding Retrospec, but I've yet to experience anything related to my "past life". I was hoping you would be able to inform me.
You're in too much of a rush about something you know nothing about.
[ - which he almost likes? But there's also the need to be difficult and stubborn, as always. He shakes his head even as he tries to get his head on straight.]
You never would've called me "sir", to start. I'm pretty sure you'd yell at yourself for doing it?
You say annoying things, I have a right to have a reaction.
[an extra, peacock-level type of reaction, but a reaction.
. . . . but honestly it's not like Sakichi's wrong.]
... It might've been something like that. I wouldn't call us friendly, but—
[ . . . he wouldn't call them enemies either. Not strangers, either. Baren said he'd leave Sakichi behind without a doubt. They must not have been that close. But then he later decided to trust him. He glances over, wondering if he could trust him again.
[ Complicated. Okay. Sakichi will settle with that for now. Baren has allegedly been searching for him for months, yet can't seem to speak directly now that Sakichi is here. Complicated is right.
Sakichi doesn't bat an eyelash at being called annoying... ]
[Automatically - because he still won't open his door to Sakichi. Okuni wouldn't get it. That might sting more.]
What do you mean - as people? You want me to tell you who you used to be? Even before you remember anything else? You don't even recognize me, you know?
You were searching for me for months. I don't believe a man would dedicate himself so readily to a potentially hopeless cause with the intent to deceive.
[ Sakichi agreed to meet Baren instantly because of this snap judgment... ]
If you don't want to talk about the past, then tell me about the present. Who are you now? Chuuya was light on details.
It's probably clear from the way that Baren's face drops so immediately that he doesn't think to put a poker face on. Well, that cat sure did get out of the bag immediately. fuck. still, there's the swirling wonder. the idle temptation.
Sakichi would believe anything then. He's too straightforward and honest not to, expecting the same from everyone else. Baren could tell him anything. They were good friends. Trusted confidants. Sakichi would follow Baren wherever he went, listen to his every word. It would be an easy way to keep tabs on him, keep him close enough that Baren wouldn't have to worry about other harm befalling him.
.... it'd be a lie.
It's not like he doesn't lie all the time though.
..... For some reason the words never make it out of his mouth, and instead Sakichi asks a different question.]
Now...?
Baren. [ . . . . holy fuck he's never talked about himself before. for once it's not stubbornness that stays his hand, but rather the simple fact that he's never had to introduce himself before. never wanted to.] What do you want to know?
And here Sakichi thought he was lobbing Baren some easy pitches. Irritation furrows his brow even further. ]
Don't ask pointless questions. There is nothing I do because I "have to". If I didn't want to know more about you, I wouldn't be asking. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be walking beside you with my own two feet.
But you're doing it because you knew that I was looking for you, and because you're going off of the assumption that we're from the same world. That something about our souls know each other from a different time - right?
[A shake of his head and there's a flash of irritation, even if he can't say what it's for exactly:] You're not wrong, but you're also taking my word for it.
My question isn't pointless. You don't need to get to know the me of now if all you're looking for are answers to the past.
[ - but it's not like Baren is giving him those answers either. Another shake of his head, this time even more openly irritated.]
Look, you're here for information? Anything? Then trade. I don't like interrogations.
[ Sakichi is silent, intently thoughtful for moments after Baren is done speaking. There is some truth to what Baren says, but Sakichi does not focus on the past except to use it as a tool to understand the future. The Baren of the present is neither -- an enigma Sakichi is still trying to place, and an individual besides. Sakichi will decide for himself whether or not getting to know Baren as a person is fruitless.
But arguing the point will not be productive, so he decides to let it lie. ]
Very well. An answer for an answer. What do you want to know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Not—
Okay.
But his first name is still there. That means something. Baren's expression doesn't budge out of bewilderment, because he doesn't believe Sakichi. He'll remember his real name in time. That's not unlikely.
Words flit through Baren's mind - cautionary ones that were shared down the grapevine. The people in the memories might not recognize you. They might not like you. They might not even want anything to do with you.
Yet when Baren looks at Sakichi, there's the ever present memory: I'm merely worried about you.
And it fuels Baren's ever present thoughts: You gave a fuck about me when I was even worse than I am now.
That has to mean something.]
.... By whom?
[Who does he thank?]
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[ By. A lot.
He glances past Baren at the dark living room, then takes in Baren's clearly non-sleep attire. ]
You were headed out? I'll accompany you.
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Baren makes note of that - unfortunately the rest of his day is booked solid, but he'll make a note to spend the entirety of the 3rd with Chuuya as thanks
(lmao).Regardless it sounds like an opportunity to him and it's why Baren steps forward regardless of personal space, just shutting the door behind him even as he tilts his head and continues to examine Sakichi. This is him. It's definitely him. Is he on the app? Baren checks it near daily and tries to mentally run through the names in his head but - he was looking for an Ishida. This one didn't pop out to him.]
Fine.
[And he'll sidestep Sakichi at the last minute, glancing back just barely as he keeps walking.]
Keep up, Sakicchan.
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And then... Baren walks away.
???
Sakichi watches Baren's retreating back for a short second before striding to keep up -- but not without a faint stir of annoyance. Speedwalking is just about 50% of Sakichi's job, though, so it isn't any hardship for him to come up alongside Baren. ]
If you wanted to talk, this is a poor way of showing it. Where are you going at this hour?
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[And at some point he'll ditch Sakichi because apparently Sakichi is a freeloader? And more than that, he's not fond of the idea of having someone come into his life and meeting Okuni - even if he probably belongs with the both of them. It's complicated, but some things are bound to stay the same.
That said, he'll take control of the conversation then - because he did want to talk. He just doesn't know if there's anything to talk about. He wants there to be, but it's not in his control.]
Do you remember anything?
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No, sir.
[ The "sir" slips out automatically. A habit he hasn't made the effort to curtail. ]
I've read up on the details surrounding Retrospec, but I've yet to experience anything related to my "past life". I was hoping you would be able to inform me.
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Don't call me that.
[IT SOUNDS GROSS]
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[ Sakichi just kind of looks at Baren, not a hint of apology on his face. ]
What was our relation in our past lives?
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[ - he actually doesn't even have the full answer.
But he's still busy doing a full body shudder oh god.]
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You're remarkably bad at giving straight answers. Stop wasting my time.
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Regardless Baren just waves a hand - ]
You're in too much of a rush about something you know nothing about.
[ - which he almost likes? But there's also the need to be difficult and stubborn, as always. He shakes his head even as he tries to get his head on straight.]
You never would've called me "sir", to start. I'm pretty sure you'd yell at yourself for doing it?
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[ Sakichi can believe this. ]
I'm not in a rush. You're simply too roundabout.
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[an extra, peacock-level type of reaction, but a reaction.
. . . . but honestly it's not like Sakichi's wrong.]
... It might've been something like that. I wouldn't call us friendly, but—
[ . . . he wouldn't call them enemies either. Not strangers, either. Baren said he'd leave Sakichi behind without a doubt. They must not have been that close. But then he later decided to trust him. He glances over, wondering if he could trust him again.
He doesn't actually say that.]
.... Seems more complicated than that.
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Sakichi doesn't bat an eyelash at being called annoying... ]
Who were we as people?
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[ . . . ]
Not a suggestion for tonight, by the way.
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[ he's growing old talking to you baren ]
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[Automatically - because he still won't open his door to Sakichi. Okuni wouldn't get it. That might sting more.]
What do you mean - as people? You want me to tell you who you used to be? Even before you remember anything else? You don't even recognize me, you know?
[Isn't that faith a little too blind?]
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[ Sakichi agreed to meet Baren instantly because of this snap judgment... ]
If you don't want to talk about the past, then tell me about the present. Who are you now? Chuuya was light on details.
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It's probably clear from the way that Baren's face drops so immediately that he doesn't think to put a poker face on. Well, that cat sure did get out of the bag immediately. fuck. still, there's the swirling wonder. the idle temptation.
Sakichi would believe anything then. He's too straightforward and honest not to, expecting the same from everyone else. Baren could tell him anything. They were good friends. Trusted confidants. Sakichi would follow Baren wherever he went, listen to his every word. It would be an easy way to keep tabs on him, keep him close enough that Baren wouldn't have to worry about other harm befalling him.
.... it'd be a lie.
It's not like he doesn't lie all the time though.
..... For some reason the words never make it out of his mouth, and instead Sakichi asks a different question.]
Now...?
Baren. [ . . . . holy fuck he's never talked about himself before. for once it's not stubbornness that stays his hand, but rather the simple fact that he's never had to introduce himself before. never wanted to.] What do you want to know?
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What's your occupation? How long have you lived here?
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Those are easy things to answer.
......
So of course Baren dodges, even if he's not supposed to.]
... are you getting to know me because you think you have to?
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And here Sakichi thought he was lobbing Baren some easy pitches. Irritation furrows his brow even further. ]
Don't ask pointless questions. There is nothing I do because I "have to". If I didn't want to know more about you, I wouldn't be asking. If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be walking beside you with my own two feet.
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anyway - ]
But you're doing it because you knew that I was looking for you, and because you're going off of the assumption that we're from the same world. That something about our souls know each other from a different time - right?
[A shake of his head and there's a flash of irritation, even if he can't say what it's for exactly:] You're not wrong, but you're also taking my word for it.
My question isn't pointless. You don't need to get to know the me of now if all you're looking for are answers to the past.
[ - but it's not like Baren is giving him those answers either. Another shake of his head, this time even more openly irritated.]
Look, you're here for information? Anything? Then trade. I don't like interrogations.
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But arguing the point will not be productive, so he decides to let it lie. ]
Very well. An answer for an answer. What do you want to know?
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[ - the same things Sakichi wanted to know, to start, apparently.]
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