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[crudest]

Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

bye

[crudest]

why would i be?
i have 2

happy birthday fucker
find someone to play the pocky game with k

[stopbleeding]

bullshit. like hell we both have two swords.

[this is HIS THING BAREN]

[crudest]

no i definitely do
had em since august

[suck it, birthday boy]

[stopbleeding]

you don't even know how to use them!

[crudest]

you don't know that for sure

[stopbleeding]

swords wouldn't like you.

[crudest]

[baren thinks of yamato

and pauses

well]

i guess you're 50% right?

[stopbleeding]

*100% right.

[crudest]

no no
one sword definitely likes me
i've got a 50/50 likability rate
and i feel like that applies to most things

[stopbleeding]

i think you're exaggerating.

20/50

[crudest]

do you even know what a ratio is

[stopbleeding]

duh. it's half a circle.

[crudest]

i'm so fucking exhausted

back to your sword
gift from retrospec?
how thoughtful

[stopbleeding]

yeah. cuts anything.
speaking of...
i tell you abt the weird superhero stuff?

[crudest]

besides being not really immortal?

[stopbleeding]

yeah. i can like
idk it's weird. cut things from far away? big things.

[crudest]

what?
i wanna see

[stopbleeding]

meet me at the beach. don't wanna get sued by the city or something.

[crudest]

i'm coming to get you bc i don't wanna wait 6 hours

[stopbleeding]

the hell is that supposed to mean? screw you.
i'm going myself.

[can u get to him before he gets to the apartment lobby baren]

[crudest]

[hE'S GONNA FUCKIN TRY

he was probably out and about anyway??? so it's why he'll come face to face with zoro, looking irritated as fuck as he's about to step out the door]

I think the fuck not.

[siX HOURS]

[stopbleeding]

How the hell did you do that?!

[THAT'S SCARY... SCARY SUPER-ACCURATE TIMING... nevermind he was wandering the building for a fair amount of time.

but wait. oh no. zoro settles pretty immediately, jabbing a finger into baren's chest.]

... Did you get teleporting and not tell me?

[crudest]

If I did that shit's fair game.

[YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR NEW POWERS??

but well, baren did say he doesn't care if zoro keeps secrets. so mostly he's just willing to keep up the ruse of teleporting]

[stopbleeding]

Says who?

[HE ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BAREN.... PLEASE.... fine. whatever. he shoves him in the shoulder. lightly.]

Whatever. Come on. Let's go.

[he's definitely carrying both swords btw. black and white like a total fucking anime dweeb.]

[crudest]

[ . . . . . baren just s i g h s]

I can't believe I have to be seen with you.

[also he's just gonna haul zoro over to the ocean so like. timeskip??]