ic inbox.

[crudest]

Baren Kaiyou

i think the fuck not my guy 💩

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[crudest]

i'm so fucking exhausted

back to your sword
gift from retrospec?
how thoughtful

[stopbleeding]

yeah. cuts anything.
speaking of...
i tell you abt the weird superhero stuff?

[crudest]

besides being not really immortal?

[stopbleeding]

yeah. i can like
idk it's weird. cut things from far away? big things.

[crudest]

what?
i wanna see

[stopbleeding]

meet me at the beach. don't wanna get sued by the city or something.

[crudest]

i'm coming to get you bc i don't wanna wait 6 hours

[stopbleeding]

the hell is that supposed to mean? screw you.
i'm going myself.

[can u get to him before he gets to the apartment lobby baren]

[crudest]

[hE'S GONNA FUCKIN TRY

he was probably out and about anyway??? so it's why he'll come face to face with zoro, looking irritated as fuck as he's about to step out the door]

I think the fuck not.

[siX HOURS]

[stopbleeding]

How the hell did you do that?!

[THAT'S SCARY... SCARY SUPER-ACCURATE TIMING... nevermind he was wandering the building for a fair amount of time.

but wait. oh no. zoro settles pretty immediately, jabbing a finger into baren's chest.]

... Did you get teleporting and not tell me?

[crudest]

If I did that shit's fair game.

[YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR NEW POWERS??

but well, baren did say he doesn't care if zoro keeps secrets. so mostly he's just willing to keep up the ruse of teleporting]

[stopbleeding]

Says who?

[HE ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT BAREN.... PLEASE.... fine. whatever. he shoves him in the shoulder. lightly.]

Whatever. Come on. Let's go.

[he's definitely carrying both swords btw. black and white like a total fucking anime dweeb.]

[crudest]

[ . . . . . baren just s i g h s]

I can't believe I have to be seen with you.

[also he's just gonna haul zoro over to the ocean so like. timeskip??]

[stopbleeding]

[WHY WOULDN'T BAREN WANT TO BE SEEN WITH HIM?? ZORO'S CONFUSED

but oh well. they're at the beach now. the ocean in front of them is clear from ships which means zoro's drawing out that new, all black edgelord blade. he glances back at baren and just. you know. ]

Still don't know what your problem is.

[crudest]

You look like you got lost on your way to Comic Con.

[that's his problem

and also given zoro's sense of direction that doesn't sound impossible]

[stopbleeding]

It's a cool sword!

[SEE???? HE'S EVEN WAVING IT AT YOU BAREN!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT]

[crudest]

Mine are prettier.

[somewhere in the city, he hopes kashuu is happy]

[stopbleeding]

Tch.

[as if.

whatever. he turns back to the water.]

Stand back.

[because a minute or two later he gets into stance and cuts the air in a vertical diagonal that...

keeps... going.

it's as if a knife cuts through the water. the waves part, exposing the bed of sand. it continues deeper and deeper and deeper, disappearing a little more than a mile out. zoro sheathes his sword.]

[crudest]

[ . . . . . . .

Well, first: what kind of overpowered anime bullshit.

Second:]

Oh shit, do that again!

[a child. he is a child.]

[stopbleeding]

[zoro just grins.]

Gladly.

[and the ocean gets split once again]

[crudest]

Can you slice it up a bunch of times like a banana?!

[BAREN IT'S NOT A TOY]

[stopbleeding]

What does that even mean here?

[it's the ocean... how do u open the ocean like a banana...]

[crudest]

Like...!

[just gonna mime a series of vertical strikes in a row.

like you would chop up a banana.]

[stopbleeding]

That's just chopping!

[dumb... isn't baren supposed to be the smart one? but fine. zoro snorts and nods.]

Alright. Step back.

[and. yeah. draws and sheathes his sword four times in succession and, amazingly, four strikes slice through the water, ending pretty far out. zoro looks surprised, but overwhelmingly pleased.]

Shit. [GRINNING.] I'm badass.

[crudest]

You're okay, I guess.

[C'MON WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING HIM TO SAY.

But regardless he's cracking up, applauding his hands like a child who's found a new toy???]

Not bad, Z!