[Baren's response was short - simple. An OK emoji. In the end, he was fine. He'd always be fine. He found a healer to take care of his hands so that they didn't hurt but - he'd have to figure something out about the scars. They're not as bad as they could've been, sure, but they're distracting. Maybe it's nothing some makeup couldn't fix but - he's not yet ready to come back to modeling. His dramatic leave can last a bit longer.
It's just... he doesn't like to be alone.
Now more than ever. It's an odd night, where Nikkai is preoccupied with prior plans, same for Kashuu. Zoro is working at a different bar and Baren - Baren can't ask any of them to cancel for him. For all Fawkes had done for him, he doesn't feel comfortable calling him either.
But Chuuya ought to be working.
It took him upwards of ten minutes to decide to enter the Inkwell, only after he got tired of himself for hovering outside. When he walks in, he's still wearing a long cardigan to cover his arms, gloves on his hands. It's fashion, obviously. Just fashion. He's ready to explain that when -
A thought bubble appears above his head: Has he always looked at me like that?
Yes, moron.
Still it weirds him out and he doesn't quite realize that his thoughts are hovering right overhead.
He takes a seat at a stool and waits, tilting his head as he just watches Chuuya work. The tension slowly leaves his shoulders in the presence of someone familiar. Someone important.]
[After a couple minutes, Chuuya turns his attention back to Baren, returning to him to slide a drink across the bar--
and he stops short at the sight of that thought bubble, his gaze flicking up above Baren's head as he flushes bright pink. A bubble appears above his own head, then:
What kind of stupid question is that?]
-here.
[and he quickly turns away, his face still red, trying not to look at that thought again.]
[Just muttered as he slams his face into his palm, not even sipping his drink yet. That's right. The bubbles. So maybe that's why Baren's thought bubble is now going to be filled with bullshit like -
Alright tangent train I can do this, it's been awhile since I've gotten to go on an actual train. Next break I get, see how many places I can get to strictly through train and hitchhiking. No way that'll get me murdered. Maybe Z should come. Chances of getting murdered down to 4%, he might be the one to murder me but at least we won't fight over the radio. Fuck you Retrospec, I hate Jim. Jojo's okay.
And it works.
For a bit. When Chuuya wanders by again, Baren reaches out - ]
[He rolls his eyes at that thought, though he's trying not to look-- it's hard not to, though, and in response to the song choice his own wonders- Did you have to pick something like that?
is that supposed to mean something Baren...]
I can bail out early if I need to, we'll have things covered. It's not usually too busy this time of night.
For a second though, it gets some amusement to light his eyes back up. He's quieter tonight. Quieter by far, not even speaking as loudly as he would but.... yeah, that's kinda funny. No, he didn't mean it. It was just the first song he could think of that matched the bar atmosphere than what he wanted to play.
There's a shake of his head though.]
- Nah, your call. Just curious, pretend I'm not here.
Like I'm gonna do that. ...just give me about fifteen or twenty, alright? I'll leave early, I- need to talk to you anyway. Not about... you know.
[It's not about us.
That shifts his demeanor a bit, preoccupation creeping in, but- his thought bubble is unhelpful, this time. Chuuya's doing a good job not thinking about it, keeping his focus on his work, on wrapping up orders and tabs he's been handling so that he can leave the rest to the other staff.]
[Baren's own thought bubble might appear cold in the way that it just repeats Chuuya's -
"Us"?
Is there an 'us'? He supposes that's what he's still deciding. He doesn't think about that thought, instead going back to finishing up his own drink and waiting. He watches and his thought bubble disappears for the most part. Maybe he's not thinking about much at all except for the way that Chuuya handles customers, amiable when he needs to be.
I wonder if they know he's a total slob at home...
That's a rude thought, but there it is.
It disappears eventually though, replaced with another one as Baren watches Chuuya maybe a little too closely again. His expression is one of deep thought, but nothing appears until he closes his eyes and pillows his head in his arms.
One more while his guard is down and Baren continues to think too much.
How can someone like you be in love with someone like me anyway?]
[Someone laughs quietly at the thought about Chuuya's habits, drawing his attention-- and he quickly flusters, to which they hold up their hands amicably and offer him a hey, listen, this place is plenty clean and that's what matters, right?
He still shoots an annoyed look at Baren before he finishes wrapping up.
When he does, though, when he returns to Baren a final time with his coat slung over his shoulders... that thought bubble stops him short. All he can do at first is stare, reading it over again like that might change it, but when it stays-- he huffs, shakes his head, and gives Baren's shoulder a nudge.]
Hey, wake up. Catnap's over, it's time to go.
[even though he knows Baren probably didn't actually sleep, but whatever
His own bubble now shows: Like love ever makes sense. I just am.
One of his regulars gives Chuuya a knowing look behind Baren's back, there, and he glances up...
god, he's going to die if he keeps blushing like this, he honestly is. He turns and stalks out the door without another word, beckoning for Baren to follow as the bubble disappears again.]
He opens his eye lazily when he's nudged, glances at Chuuya and - he didn't mean to read the thought bubble. That's why he limited his own vision in the first place but.
As Baren follows Chuuya out the door - not blushing, but certainly sour-faced in the way that he gets when something is too sincere for him to be able to process - he has another thought bubble.
So it really is...
And then it trails off, as if love is still too dangerous for him to accept. But his bubble remains a faintly hazy red before it disappears. He pulls out a packet of cigarettes and his lighter when they exit, apparently not at all scared of fire, and lights one before releasing the smoke into air in a stream that he hopes obscures his thoughts.]
If you needed me for something, you should've called.
[Chuuya shrugs a shoulder, there, setting off toward his apartment with his hands tucked in his pockets.]
But... I'm glad you showed up. I was gonna message you to talk before too much longer. It's not the kind of thing I want to risk going to someone else, with the app fucking things up again.
[Now that they're on the street, Tanuki eventually joins them from whatever adventure he was having. He walks next to Chuuya for a moment before jumping to try to snag onto his coat and then climb up his shoulder.
'sup.
Casually, Baren muses. Space is smart. I should've remembered that.
But well.]
... Well, at least my timing is as infallible as ever.
[His jokes aren't quite as lively - but at least he's making the effort to not be as down as he feels.]
[Chuuya lets the tanuki climb right up him without a complaint, giving him a little grin and a scratch behind the ears as he settles on his shoulder. Cute... maybe he doesn't feel like he could care for an animal himself, but he still likes other people's companions just fine.
Besides- I owe you one, huh, little guy...
He'd never have known Baren was in trouble otherwise.]
Yeah, you usually show up when you need to, huh? I probably should've figured.
[Chuuya's not super talkative the rest of the way, though- he's more and more focused on just getting there so he can get this out.]
[Baren doesn't mind walking the rest of the way in silence, smoking his cigarette as if it'll work to settle whatever weird feelings gripped him as they walked out of the bar. Something about it is still a novel idea and his thoughts drift to it -
Would it be convenient if I forgot he loves me or just rude.... I hate that I know the answer.
But hopefully when he exhales smoke it clouds up the thought before Chuuya can read it. Maybe.
He also watches Chuuya interact with Tanuki - who absolutely just leans into the touch happily, nudging further into Chuuya's hand for more scratches - and blinks.
[Fortunately for Baren, Chuuya's keeping his eyes ahead precisely because of those thought bubbles, and it's a good thing he misses that one. He honestly wouldn't know which of those Baren thinks is the answer.
He continues idly petting Tanuki as they walk, finally glancing back to Baren as they approach the apartment building--]
Can you fucking not think of me like that in public?! People could see that!
[whyyy thiiiiis.
further adventures in 'why this': the thought bubble that says Private's fine, but fuck, nobody needs to know.]
Baren glances up - and doesn't seem at all embarrassed. Especially as his eyes wander over to Chuuya's own thought bubble because turnabout is fairplay and.
There's that little terrible light in his eyes again. The flicker of amusement and his mouth twitches into something like a grin for the first time in Chuuya's presence since the fire.
He glances up to confirm that he has a thought bubble still and they're just barely in the apartment building when the thought crosses Baren's mind -
[Chuuya huffs off ahead of him at that to go unlock the apartment door, flustered, but-
At least the jackass is smiling again. I was kinda worried.
Like he'd admit it out loud, though.
He sheds his hat and coat when he gets in, careful not to disturb Tanuki too much if he's staying put, and toes off his shoes before taking a seat and gesturing for Baren to join him.]
Maybe that's what gets Baren to laugh and it's good that Chuuya doesn't turn because what Baren doesn't say, if only out of some bare understanding that he shouldn't - Didn't say I didn't like it.
It's just unfortunate that he has no place to look when he's waiting for Chuuya to open the door and the reflection on his smile manage to gets him to pause, lifting up a hand to touch at his own mouth, even with the gloves.
That's right, he hasn't had much energy to smile lately. Not unless he means it.
So he walks in, locks the door behind him. Tanuki is just going to hop into Chuuya's lap because he can.]
[For a moment he's quiet, just petting Tanuki both for the comfort of it and to give himself something to do with his hands. The affection is nice, and he finds himself thinking- maybe I really should get a pet sometime.
...nah, probably wouldn't go well.
Finally, though, he decides to go ahead and get it over with.]
You remember what I told you about my ability, right?
[Now that Chuuya doesn't have to, he's stopped looking at Baren completely; it feels odd, feels like he should meet his eyes, but it's too tempting to look. He watches Tanuki instead, fingers combing through his fur.
The other thing is that Baren is self-sacrificing for the people he cares about.
The last thing is that Baren moves so automatically to where Chuuya sits that it startles Tanuki, gets him to look up when Baren does what's automatic when it comes to taking care of other people.
This is the fucking opposite of fixing it, I have to fix it.]
[He doesn't look up when Baren moves closer, just shuts his eyes and shakes his head.]
I just know, okay, it's there, I- I thought the words and I just felt like...
[like when you take a sudden drop and your heart just jumps into your throat only not in the thrilling way like when it makes your blood go cold like you're falling and nothing's gonna stop you
but also like there was so much power there just waiting
Chuuya exhales a shaky breath, curls in on himself a little and holds Tanuki close.]
[He should respect Chuuya's privacy more than this. These are his thoughts and it's important that he gets the words out but -
There it is. The driving need for information, if only because he thinks he needs that information in order to help anyone. Anything. Chuuya's not telling him to close his eyes even though he knows Baren's right there and - normally Baren can live in that unfairness. For years, the lack of balance in their relationship never even made him blink.
Right now he can't take it so - ]
... Open your eyes, Chuu. It's - fine.
[It's a trade.
Tanuki reacts to the stress of someone in distress as he knows how, by nudging against them softly and letting himself be held.
Baren's heart's in his throat and he's already thinking - so fast, the words are scrolling.
There has to be someone in the city who has some kind of power to stop this I just need to find it. If there's gods then there has to be someone who can dictate people. Mind control to hold it at bay for even a little bit. Retrospec gives powers, I'll break in again and see if Maury or Jojo can give me something. I'll trade, there has to be something they want, something I can get them to owe me. I'll run a debt, I'll fix it, there has to be a way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It's just... he doesn't like to be alone.
Now more than ever. It's an odd night, where Nikkai is preoccupied with prior plans, same for Kashuu. Zoro is working at a different bar and Baren - Baren can't ask any of them to cancel for him. For all Fawkes had done for him, he doesn't feel comfortable calling him either.
But Chuuya ought to be working.
It took him upwards of ten minutes to decide to enter the Inkwell, only after he got tired of himself for hovering outside. When he walks in, he's still wearing a long cardigan to cover his arms, gloves on his hands. It's fashion, obviously. Just fashion. He's ready to explain that when -
A thought bubble appears above his head: Has he always looked at me like that?
Yes, moron.
Still it weirds him out and he doesn't quite realize that his thoughts are hovering right overhead.
He takes a seat at a stool and waits, tilting his head as he just watches Chuuya work. The tension slowly leaves his shoulders in the presence of someone familiar. Someone important.]
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and he stops short at the sight of that thought bubble, his gaze flicking up above Baren's head as he flushes bright pink. A bubble appears above his own head, then:
What kind of stupid question is that?]
-here.
[and he quickly turns away, his face still red, trying not to look at that thought again.]
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Jesus fucking christ.
[Just muttered as he slams his face into his palm, not even sipping his drink yet. That's right. The bubbles. So maybe that's why Baren's thought bubble is now going to be filled with bullshit like -
Alright tangent train I can do this, it's been awhile since I've gotten to go on an actual train. Next break I get, see how many places I can get to strictly through train and hitchhiking. No way that'll get me murdered. Maybe Z should come. Chances of getting murdered down to 4%, he might be the one to murder me but at least we won't fight over the radio.
Fuck you Retrospec, I hate Jim. Jojo's okay.
And it works.
For a bit. When Chuuya wanders by again, Baren reaches out - ]
Hey, let me play some songs.
[That's where that train of thought took him.]
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And then his own helpfully pops up again with: Cute.]
Depends, what songs are you gonna play? You know what kind of shit's off-limits here, don't go and ruin my atmosphere.
[But he hands Baren the stereo controls anyway, apparently willing to trust him.]
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[Baren says, taking the stereo controls while his own thought bubble responds: Don't call me cute, jackass.
That said his music choice essentially meets Chuuya halfway. For now.
When he has a free moment:]
Are you working until close today?
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is that supposed to mean something Baren...]
I can bail out early if I need to, we'll have things covered. It's not usually too busy this time of night.
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Which is why his own bubble reads -
Pick something like -
Oh.
Fuck.
For a second though, it gets some amusement to light his eyes back up. He's quieter tonight. Quieter by far, not even speaking as loudly as he would but.... yeah, that's kinda funny. No, he didn't mean it. It was just the first song he could think of that matched the bar atmosphere than what he wanted to play.
There's a shake of his head though.]
- Nah, your call. Just curious, pretend I'm not here.
[Yeah okay.]
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[It's not about us.
That shifts his demeanor a bit, preoccupation creeping in, but- his thought bubble is unhelpful, this time. Chuuya's doing a good job not thinking about it, keeping his focus on his work, on wrapping up orders and tabs he's been handling so that he can leave the rest to the other staff.]
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"Us"?
Is there an 'us'? He supposes that's what he's still deciding. He doesn't think about that thought, instead going back to finishing up his own drink and waiting. He watches and his thought bubble disappears for the most part. Maybe he's not thinking about much at all except for the way that Chuuya handles customers, amiable when he needs to be.
I wonder if they know he's a total slob at home...
That's a rude thought, but there it is.
It disappears eventually though, replaced with another one as Baren watches Chuuya maybe a little too closely again. His expression is one of deep thought, but nothing appears until he closes his eyes and pillows his head in his arms.
One more while his guard is down and Baren continues to think too much.
How can someone like you be in love with someone like me anyway?]
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He still shoots an annoyed look at Baren before he finishes wrapping up.
When he does, though, when he returns to Baren a final time with his coat slung over his shoulders... that thought bubble stops him short. All he can do at first is stare, reading it over again like that might change it, but when it stays-- he huffs, shakes his head, and gives Baren's shoulder a nudge.]
Hey, wake up. Catnap's over, it's time to go.
[even though he knows Baren probably didn't actually sleep, but whatever
His own bubble now shows: Like love ever makes sense. I just am.
One of his regulars gives Chuuya a knowing look behind Baren's back, there, and he glances up...
god, he's going to die if he keeps blushing like this, he honestly is. He turns and stalks out the door without another word, beckoning for Baren to follow as the bubble disappears again.]
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He opens his eye lazily when he's nudged, glances at Chuuya and - he didn't mean to read the thought bubble. That's why he limited his own vision in the first place but.
As Baren follows Chuuya out the door - not blushing, but certainly sour-faced in the way that he gets when something is too sincere for him to be able to process - he has another thought bubble.
So it really is...
And then it trails off, as if love is still too dangerous for him to accept. But his bubble remains a faintly hazy red before it disappears. He pulls out a packet of cigarettes and his lighter when they exit, apparently not at all scared of fire, and lights one before releasing the smoke into air in a stream that he hopes obscures his thoughts.]
If you needed me for something, you should've called.
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[Chuuya shrugs a shoulder, there, setting off toward his apartment with his hands tucked in his pockets.]
But... I'm glad you showed up. I was gonna message you to talk before too much longer. It's not the kind of thing I want to risk going to someone else, with the app fucking things up again.
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'sup.
Casually, Baren muses. Space is smart. I should've remembered that.
But well.]
... Well, at least my timing is as infallible as ever.
[His jokes aren't quite as lively - but at least he's making the effort to not be as down as he feels.]
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[Chuuya lets the tanuki climb right up him without a complaint, giving him a little grin and a scratch behind the ears as he settles on his shoulder. Cute... maybe he doesn't feel like he could care for an animal himself, but he still likes other people's companions just fine.
Besides- I owe you one, huh, little guy...
He'd never have known Baren was in trouble otherwise.]
Yeah, you usually show up when you need to, huh? I probably should've figured.
[Chuuya's not super talkative the rest of the way, though- he's more and more focused on just getting there so he can get this out.]
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Would it be convenient if I forgot he loves me or just rude.... I hate that I know the answer.
But hopefully when he exhales smoke it clouds up the thought before Chuuya can read it. Maybe.
He also watches Chuuya interact with Tanuki - who absolutely just leans into the touch happily, nudging further into Chuuya's hand for more scratches - and blinks.
One fighty but softie little pet to another....
Terrible.]
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He continues idly petting Tanuki as they walk, finally glancing back to Baren as they approach the apartment building--]
Can you fucking not think of me like that in public?! People could see that!
[whyyy thiiiiis.
further adventures in 'why this': the thought bubble that says Private's fine, but fuck, nobody needs to know.]
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Baren glances up - and doesn't seem at all embarrassed. Especially as his eyes wander over to Chuuya's own thought bubble because turnabout is fairplay and.
There's that little terrible light in his eyes again. The flicker of amusement and his mouth twitches into something like a grin for the first time in Chuuya's presence since the fire.
He glances up to confirm that he has a thought bubble still and they're just barely in the apartment building when the thought crosses Baren's mind -
Kinky little shit.
And he just points up to it.
Yeah.]
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[Chuuya huffs off ahead of him at that to go unlock the apartment door, flustered, but-
At least the jackass is smiling again. I was kinda worried.
Like he'd admit it out loud, though.
He sheds his hat and coat when he gets in, careful not to disturb Tanuki too much if he's staying put, and toes off his shoes before taking a seat and gesturing for Baren to join him.]
...Lock the door, 'kay?
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Maybe that's what gets Baren to laugh and it's good that Chuuya doesn't turn because what Baren doesn't say, if only out of some bare understanding that he shouldn't - Didn't say I didn't like it.
It's just unfortunate that he has no place to look when he's waiting for Chuuya to open the door and the reflection on his smile manage to gets him to pause, lifting up a hand to touch at his own mouth, even with the gloves.
That's right, he hasn't had much energy to smile lately. Not unless he means it.
So he walks in, locks the door behind him. Tanuki is just going to hop into Chuuya's lap because he can.]
What do you need?
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...nah, probably wouldn't go well.
Finally, though, he decides to go ahead and get it over with.]
You remember what I told you about my ability, right?
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His thoughts are simple and unfiltered: I could probably take care of a second pet if he wants one. How do I word that differently....
It's like watching a lie in formation as he gives nothing away on his face, looking up at the question.]
Sure.
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And all he says at first is:]
...it's back.
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The other thing is that Baren is self-sacrificing for the people he cares about.
The last thing is that Baren moves so automatically to where Chuuya sits that it startles Tanuki, gets him to look up when Baren does what's automatic when it comes to taking care of other people.
This is the fucking opposite of fixing it, I have to fix it.]
How do you know—
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I just know, okay, it's there, I- I thought the words and I just felt like...
[like when you take a sudden drop and your heart just jumps into your throat only not in the thrilling way like when it makes your blood go cold like you're falling and nothing's gonna stop you
but also like there was so much power there just waiting
Chuuya exhales a shaky breath, curls in on himself a little and holds Tanuki close.]
I just know.
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There it is. The driving need for information, if only because he thinks he needs that information in order to help anyone. Anything. Chuuya's not telling him to close his eyes even though he knows Baren's right there and - normally Baren can live in that unfairness. For years, the lack of balance in their relationship never even made him blink.
Right now he can't take it so - ]
... Open your eyes, Chuu. It's - fine.
[It's a trade.
Tanuki reacts to the stress of someone in distress as he knows how, by nudging against them softly and letting himself be held.
Baren's heart's in his throat and he's already thinking - so fast, the words are scrolling.
There has to be someone in the city who has some kind of power to stop this I just need to find it. If there's gods then there has to be someone who can dictate people. Mind control to hold it at bay for even a little bit. Retrospec gives powers, I'll break in again and see if Maury or Jojo can give me something. I'll trade, there has to be something they want, something I can get them to owe me. I'll run a debt, I'll fix it, there has to be a way.
In the same span that all he says is - ]
Don't freak out.
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