It's just a lawn flamingo, right? Why wouldn't one of those cages be able to fit in it?
[But. Whatever. Not like it's the weirdest thing Baren's suggested. Plus, Zoro's not really in the mood to wait for a drink any longer. Any more indecision would be torture.]
Fine. Sure. Let's go.
[He says, wandering off in the opposite direction. I'm obligated to include this gag.]
What? No, if I'm doing a flamingo it'll be a real flamingo. We gotta make sure he'll have enough space and won't freak out.
[baren the animal whisperer strikes again and continues to use his powers for chaotic. but it's as he's saying that that he's... walking away and actually has to realize that zoro is not following him
which is when he just turns around and SIGHS HEAVILY and grabs zoro back his shirt collar and drags him in the right direction]
Baren ignores that though, instead running over and planting his hands on Zoro's shoulders to lift himself up and balancing carefully so he can get the bartender's attention - ]
One for me too, me too! He's paying!
[just climb your best friend like a jungle gym yeah why not]
[The bartender very cautiously takes the card and hands them the bottle. Zoro snatches it before Baren can even try, chugging right from the bottle and popping off with a cheery gasp.]
I think she knows we're here for trouble.
[Here. Have the bottle now, Barnacle-Baren. If this is the game they're gonna play, Zoro's gonna do his part and increase the difficulty, shifting around willy-nilly. Rolling his shoulders, swaying from side-to-side, etc etc. Like a tame bucking bronco.
still, he's just laughing, amused and excited at the upped difficulty level from zoro's shifting?! he manages to keep himself suspended but while they're at it - he'll just heft himself up so his feet are on zoro's shoulders (HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, BAREN) and he drinks some from the bottle before his eyes go up
and he once again catches the eye of the woman in the dance cage, giving her a friendly wave even as he balances on Zoro's shoulders]
Excuse me, mi— whoa! Ahaha, hey! Ah, excuse me! Can I borrow just a bit of your time?!
[which... works? it'll have to work, probably because Baren's could charm a snake (he is the snake) and the woman indicates to whoever's working the dance cage that she wants to be let down and it starts to be moved....]
[But he'll carefully balance on Zoro's shoulders up until they get closer to where they let the actual cage down, and then he hops off so he can have a neat little chat with the woman there with his voice just low enough that it can't be heard by Zoro over the pulsing bass. She steps out, stands off to the side, and Baren beckons Zoro closer.]
Z, Z! Look, check this out - when are you ever gonna get to see one of these again if I don't bring you here?
Given on the fact that Baren once again proves himself a menace, backing up just enough so that he can jump and work up the momentum to kick Zoro into the dance cage.
At least Baren tosses him the bottle of tequila to give his hands something to do before he slams the gate shut, locking it soundly.]
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Are you jeeeaaalous? You know you're the only dumb musclehead showoff for me, Z.
[and he cracks up..... because baren is a mess of a human]
What does it matter?
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It doesn't. Just don't get how fools like that get money.
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[Duh!!
But at least with Baren's driving and refusal to pay attention to the speed limit, they're fast approaching downtown.]
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[Not... serious... But rich assholes piss him off. He leans his head against the window and watches the scenery flit by.]
You thought of a place to go yet?
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[Baren might actually steal a car?? Just for the sake of his own lie? Is there any point where the chaos might end.
Anyway, he rolls in to park somewhere that he'll probably leave his car overnight and then hops out, tilting his head.]
Yeah, I know a place or two. There's one with those dance cage things? I kinda wanna put a flamingo in it.
[but that would require another trip, Baren]
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Did you bring it?
[Sounds more fun than watching people dance in those cages. They make him uncomfortable. Why do people choose to go in them??]
We can go to the cage place if they make good drinks.
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[And. And that's when Baren gets an idea. Hence why he grins and points out the direction that they need to go.]
The place is pretty solid though, you can help me check out the cage to make sure I can actually fit a flamingo in one, yeah?
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[But. Whatever. Not like it's the weirdest thing Baren's suggested. Plus, Zoro's not really in the mood to wait for a drink any longer. Any more indecision would be torture.]
Fine. Sure. Let's go.
[He says, wandering off in the opposite direction. I'm obligated to include this gag.]
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[baren the animal whisperer strikes again and continues to use his powers for chaotic. but it's as he's saying that that he's... walking away and actually has to realize that zoro is not following him
which is when he just turns around and SIGHS HEAVILY and grabs zoro back his shirt collar and drags him in the right direction]
You're fucking hopeless.
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[He was going the right way?? What the fuck, Baren?? He's still getting dragged, though. Just batting at the hand on his shirt.
After awhile he just. Resigns himself. To being dragged.]
Isn't something like that animal cruelty? You're gonna get PETA on our asses.
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I wouldn't leave him there. Just let him have a fun time, take a walk around the city, you know?
[animals will follow baren anywhere and he will protect them with his life]
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Yeah, like I said. PETA. Don't think they'd enjoy your reasoning.
[why is he even bothering? baren won't care.]
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[he's all for protecting the animals but holy shit
he still doesn't care though, pulling Zoro into a bar with loud music, lots of people even though it's probably a fucking weekday, and
dance cages]
Nice.
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so much gyrating.]
You would know of a place like this.
[the cages are almost hypnotic. zoro can't help but stare, pondering the secrets of just why anyone would want to enter one and-]
How do they get out of those things?
[Not even subtle. Just outright points to a cage. The woman dancing inside it catches him and winks back.]
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[He waves excitedly to the woman dancing in the cage and blows her a kiss - are they friends? As far as Baren's concerned, they are now.]
C'mon Z, let's get a drink before we check it out.
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Huh? You say something?
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Baren ignores that though, instead running over and planting his hands on Zoro's shoulders to lift himself up and balancing carefully so he can get the bartender's attention - ]
One for me too, me too! He's paying!
[just climb your best friend like a jungle gym yeah why not]
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[Even though he says it he doesn't try to shoo Baren off. Just... sure. Let him climb all over. Whatever.]
Hey! Bartender! Screw the glass! Bring the full bottle!
[The poor bartender looks confused by that request and... shakes her head.]
Oh, come on!
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zoro's credit card????
yeah he swiped that on his way up, apparently]
Here, miss, charge it and we'll be good to go.
[he wants this bottle now that zoro mentioned it??? please give baren what he wants]
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I think she knows we're here for trouble.
[Here. Have the bottle now, Barnacle-Baren. If this is the game they're gonna play, Zoro's gonna do his part and increase the difficulty, shifting around willy-nilly. Rolling his shoulders, swaying from side-to-side, etc etc. Like a tame bucking bronco.
They probably do this a lot.]
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[but any filthy man is fair game
still, he's just laughing, amused and excited at the upped difficulty level from zoro's shifting?! he manages to keep himself suspended but while they're at it - he'll just heft himself up so his feet are on zoro's shoulders (HE JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, BAREN) and he drinks some from the bottle before his eyes go up
and he once again catches the eye of the woman in the dance cage, giving her a friendly wave even as he balances on Zoro's shoulders]
Excuse me, mi— whoa! Ahaha, hey! Ah, excuse me! Can I borrow just a bit of your time?!
[which... works? it'll have to work, probably because Baren's could charm a snake (he is the snake) and the woman indicates to whoever's working the dance cage that she wants to be let down and it starts to be moved....]
Z, follow it...!
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[And yet... he's moving, weaving through the crowd as if carrying Baren is no big issue.]
You're not gonna ask her about the flamingo, are you? That'll just tip them off to what you wanna do.
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[But he'll carefully balance on Zoro's shoulders up until they get closer to where they let the actual cage down, and then he hops off so he can have a neat little chat with the woman there with his voice just low enough that it can't be heard by Zoro over the pulsing bass. She steps out, stands off to the side, and Baren beckons Zoro closer.]
Z, Z! Look, check this out - when are you ever gonna get to see one of these again if I don't bring you here?
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[Granted, not ones like this unless he's forced to. Nevertheless, he's walking up to it.]
There something special about it?
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Given on the fact that Baren once again proves himself a menace, backing up just enough so that he can jump and work up the momentum to kick Zoro into the dance cage.
At least Baren tosses him the bottle of tequila to give his hands something to do before he slams the gate shut, locking it soundly.]
Time to see if it's fool proof.... ♥
[Sucker.]
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