[and he just got out of the hospital.... but at least baren still obeys traffic laws, hence why he's stopping at a stopsign before he gets out of the parking garage
he unlocks the door bc he doesn't want zoro pawing at the car for too long
even as he's still cracking up in the driver's seat]
It's just a lawn flamingo, right? Why wouldn't one of those cages be able to fit in it?
[But. Whatever. Not like it's the weirdest thing Baren's suggested. Plus, Zoro's not really in the mood to wait for a drink any longer. Any more indecision would be torture.]
Fine. Sure. Let's go.
[He says, wandering off in the opposite direction. I'm obligated to include this gag.]
What? No, if I'm doing a flamingo it'll be a real flamingo. We gotta make sure he'll have enough space and won't freak out.
[baren the animal whisperer strikes again and continues to use his powers for chaotic. but it's as he's saying that that he's... walking away and actually has to realize that zoro is not following him
which is when he just turns around and SIGHS HEAVILY and grabs zoro back his shirt collar and drags him in the right direction]
Baren ignores that though, instead running over and planting his hands on Zoro's shoulders to lift himself up and balancing carefully so he can get the bartender's attention - ]
One for me too, me too! He's paying!
[just climb your best friend like a jungle gym yeah why not]
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Happy to drive right past Zoro with the obnoxious roar of an engine, laughing as he goes.]
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ASSHOLE!
[did you think he wouldn't chase after it? because he is. he's running after a car.]
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he unlocks the door bc he doesn't want zoro pawing at the car for too long
even as he's still cracking up in the driver's seat]
If you bleed on this leather, I'm disowning you.
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[He wiggles a bit in the seat as if to demonstrate his future heinous deed. Also closes the car door and buckles in. Safety first.]
Who'd you steal this car from?
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You know that one guy from like 2 months ago that wanted to impress me by letting me have his Rolex?
He was just so generous I figured, "I think I'm pretty enough to earn his car, too."
[The lies come so easy.]
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[He remembers the watch more than the guy himself.]
You're still seeing that guy?
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[HE'S EASY TO PLEASE but he's also driving off to bring them closer to downtown. Time to hit the bars!!]
But nah, I was just in his neighborhood and his home security's not all he claimed it to be.
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[Is the guy stupid? Who would let a Spyder go? Guy deserved to have it stolen.]
Just how deep did that guy fall for you?
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Are you jeeeaaalous? You know you're the only dumb musclehead showoff for me, Z.
[and he cracks up..... because baren is a mess of a human]
What does it matter?
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It doesn't. Just don't get how fools like that get money.
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[Duh!!
But at least with Baren's driving and refusal to pay attention to the speed limit, they're fast approaching downtown.]
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[Not... serious... But rich assholes piss him off. He leans his head against the window and watches the scenery flit by.]
You thought of a place to go yet?
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[Baren might actually steal a car?? Just for the sake of his own lie? Is there any point where the chaos might end.
Anyway, he rolls in to park somewhere that he'll probably leave his car overnight and then hops out, tilting his head.]
Yeah, I know a place or two. There's one with those dance cage things? I kinda wanna put a flamingo in it.
[but that would require another trip, Baren]
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Did you bring it?
[Sounds more fun than watching people dance in those cages. They make him uncomfortable. Why do people choose to go in them??]
We can go to the cage place if they make good drinks.
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[And. And that's when Baren gets an idea. Hence why he grins and points out the direction that they need to go.]
The place is pretty solid though, you can help me check out the cage to make sure I can actually fit a flamingo in one, yeah?
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[But. Whatever. Not like it's the weirdest thing Baren's suggested. Plus, Zoro's not really in the mood to wait for a drink any longer. Any more indecision would be torture.]
Fine. Sure. Let's go.
[He says, wandering off in the opposite direction. I'm obligated to include this gag.]
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[baren the animal whisperer strikes again and continues to use his powers for chaotic. but it's as he's saying that that he's... walking away and actually has to realize that zoro is not following him
which is when he just turns around and SIGHS HEAVILY and grabs zoro back his shirt collar and drags him in the right direction]
You're fucking hopeless.
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[He was going the right way?? What the fuck, Baren?? He's still getting dragged, though. Just batting at the hand on his shirt.
After awhile he just. Resigns himself. To being dragged.]
Isn't something like that animal cruelty? You're gonna get PETA on our asses.
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I wouldn't leave him there. Just let him have a fun time, take a walk around the city, you know?
[animals will follow baren anywhere and he will protect them with his life]
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Yeah, like I said. PETA. Don't think they'd enjoy your reasoning.
[why is he even bothering? baren won't care.]
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[he's all for protecting the animals but holy shit
he still doesn't care though, pulling Zoro into a bar with loud music, lots of people even though it's probably a fucking weekday, and
dance cages]
Nice.
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so much gyrating.]
You would know of a place like this.
[the cages are almost hypnotic. zoro can't help but stare, pondering the secrets of just why anyone would want to enter one and-]
How do they get out of those things?
[Not even subtle. Just outright points to a cage. The woman dancing inside it catches him and winks back.]
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[He waves excitedly to the woman dancing in the cage and blows her a kiss - are they friends? As far as Baren's concerned, they are now.]
C'mon Z, let's get a drink before we check it out.
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Huh? You say something?
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Baren ignores that though, instead running over and planting his hands on Zoro's shoulders to lift himself up and balancing carefully so he can get the bartender's attention - ]
One for me too, me too! He's paying!
[just climb your best friend like a jungle gym yeah why not]
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